Why Having A Toddler is Like Living in Poltergeist

Why Having A Toddler is Like Living in Poltergeist

Taken from Suburban Snapshots.com. I take no credit for this, but it made me laugh!

If Poltergeist isn't one of your all-time family classics, well, your family is probably a little more balanced than mine. But really, who doesn't enjoy possessed trees, evil clowns, and angry, decomposing Native Americans? That's got quality time written all over it.

10. Items reappear out of place mere seconds after you've put them away.
9. In the dark, you sense an unwelcome presence in your room.
8. You frequently resist the urge to run screaming from your own home.
7. You're never really alone.
6. You can't escape the voices calling your name.
5. You could have sworn you just turned that light off.
4. The TV has more power over your child than you do.
3. You're often terrified by what you find under the bed.
2. A very small person keeps telling you what to do, and strangely, you keep listening.
1. You know that the only way you'll get any peace is a hotel room clear across town.

Instead of Blogging....

Ten things I did over the last 5 days instead of blogging:

• Took my family to the airport and sent them off to California for 5 days.

• Went to bed when I was tired. Didn't wake up until I'd had enough sleep.

• Slept in the middle of the bed.

  
  

• Had a long and argumentative conversation with God. Asked Him to show me a few things I had questions on. Still waiting for confirmation.

  
  

• Came to an complete understanding of what other mothers meant when they talked about spring break and summer and how hard of a transition it was having the kids home. Several years ago, when I was a stay-at-home mom of young children, I had no context for these discussions. At that time, everyday was just about the same, except the weekends or holidays when daddy was home. Now I get it. It's different to have time with family, time with kids, time alone during the week, and complete and utter time to yourself for a few days. All are needed. All are necessary.

• Washed, folded and put away only my own laundry.

• Stained our coffee table. Messed up. Wiped it all off. Stained it again. Coated it with a protective coating. Thought I messed up again, but took a deep breath (without getting light headed) and let it dry overnight. Much to my surprise, it all worked out. You can still see the places where the veneer was scraped off, but they're less noticeable, almost the same color as the table, and not divots anymore.

  
  

• Cleaned the house. Marveled at the fact it remained clean for 5 days.

  
  

• Had a long lunch with a good friend who's in a rough spot.

  
  

• Painted the fire place grate from gold to black. Now I only have one gold light fixture and a bunch of gold doorknobs to replace.

  
  

  Oh wait.... one more....

  
  

• Did I mention that I went to bed when I felt like it, and didn't get up in the morning until I'd gotten enough sleep?

I'm now about to head out to the airport to retrieve the family members. Tomorrow and the next day I will attempt to get back on track with the schedule imposed on me by society. But I'm grateful for the rest, relaxation and alone time I just had. I'm also grateful that my family is coming back into town. Our house is too big and quiet for just me.

The Winter That Never Was

The wind is shaking the house. I'm not sure what the wind speed is, but the weather reporter on the morning news said we should expect 50-60 MPH gusts for most of the day and night. Although the windows are shaking and rattling, I don't wonder if they're going to blow out until the wind gets up to 75 MPH. Here in the front range of Colorado, that's not uncommon. You don't hear much about windows blowing out, but the crazy wind is the reason there's a lot of fence and tree damage in our neighborhood. Maybe also the reason there aren't a lot of natural trees on the flat lands. Last week the winds were so high and at just the right trajectory that I was worried our bedroom windows might blow, or at least crack. The winds woke me up at 4:00 am that morning, heralding in yet another sleepy day. Sleep was again elusive last night as the winds woke me up on a constant basis. I'm getting use to not having enough energy to get through the day.

It's now officially spring as of yesterday. It's as if the lilac bush outside got the memo, because this morning it had already started to sprout little green leaves. With our complete lack of any moisture this winter, I'm not sure where the bush is getting any nourishment to start the process. I'm calling this last winter of 2010-2011 "the winter that never was". "The winter that never was" got about a foot of snow. That's it. Winter snow in Colorado is dry. We get almost no moisture from it at all. When it snows just a little you can blow it away. It's like a down comforter exploded and the feathers are the snow. But just a foot of snow all winter? Combine that with our one, maybe two thunderstorms over the summer, and we've gotten no rain or snow since last April. Can you say "drought"?

"The winter that never was" has also been very warm. Except for a few weeks here and there of cold or extremely cold weather (below zero), it's been balmy. I bought a new coat in September - one I could wear in public without embarrassment - and haven't worn it all that much. I'm not even tired of it yet, and by the end of winter here I usually hate all the clothing that weighs me down! I did buy a couple of sweatshirts, as it's been cold enough to warrant the wearing of them. The high country has been buried in snow, which I'm sure is great for our water tables and tourism. Skiers everywhere are rejoicing about the great powder in the Colorado mountains! But we've gotten none of it down here. I sweep or vacuum more than normal because of all the dry grass and tanbark from the dry school playground that is tracked into our house daily. Most of the Coloradoans marvel at the warm temperatures. I'm just sad about it. I'm trying not to complain, but it's hard. One of the great things about winter is that it makes me look forward to summer. I hadn't looked forward to summer in years before we moved here. I practically dreaded it. While I'm not currently dreading the upcoming summer, I haven't had one iota of desire for it to start. Except for the greenery. I love, love, love all the blooming trees, flowers, and the greening of the grass of late spring. Summer's one of the few pretty, green seasons here. Without snow, the winter landscape just looks dead and barren.

So now "The winter that never was" is over. It's like we had an extended fall. It's weird. It falls into the whole weird weather in Colorado category that Coloradoans are so proud of. The saying is if you don't like the weather in Colorado, wait 10 minutes and it'll change. It's true that it can change quickly, but I doubt I'm going to get any rain in 10 minutes. Maybe this summer. Maybe.

Even Though....

Yesterday at Brandon's school, I got called crazy. Not the exact word, but still - crazy. The reason? I put my son in school even though his birthday is near the Colorado school grade cut-off date of September 30th. Even though he was going to be the youngest in his class. Even though.... it's a theme around these here parts.

Caitlin was playing with two little boys in the school playground. They were getting along well, and I asked the woman in charge how old they were. We only know a couple of kids going into kindergarten at the same time as Caitlin next year, so I guess I'm always scouting around to see who might be in her class next year. Anyway, both boys are 4 1/2, and both had birthdays in September. The woman said that one boy, the one who wasn't hers, was going into kindergarten next year, even though his birthday was September 22nd (emphasis hers), because his mother believed that was the right thing to do. The other boy, who was hers, also had a September birthday, was not going until the following year. I mentioned that my son was a September birthday, and that he was young in school. She, the mom, pointed out with (again) added emphasis that she did not believe in putting a child into school if the child's birthday was after May. They just can't, she concluded, keep up with their classmates at such a young age. She was worried about the second child because of this.

She obviously doesn't know my son.

Brandon does really well in school. He reads a grade level ahead of where he should be at for second grade. He excels in math and science. We're pretty sure his teacher gives him extra math homework, and we know she gives him math challenges in class. Yes, his handwriting is messy, and he usually only wants to do his math homework. Really, though, does any kid want to do homework? After I got home from school yesterday, I had an e-mail from his teacher saying that he had just tested into the TAG program (Talented and Gifted) at his school, and that we would look at the options after spring break. I had inquired about the TAG program early last year, but decided not to do it because Brandon often doesn't want to tell you about or interpret what he's read. Brandon's teacher encouraged us to test him because she said it would put him on the right track for math. We were all for that, so he tested last week and passed. He got a 99% and 97% in the non-verbal categories (math is part of that), and 89% in the verbal (interpretation is part of that). Kids need to score 95% or higher in 2 of the 3 categories to qualify. Yeah, Brandon!

So, back to being the crazy mom. The other mother said that she didn't think younger children could keep up with their classmates. Brandon disproves that theory! We thought about this decision a lot. It was not made lightly. The conclusion has always been that he was ready for school. No doubt.

The biggest thing I've noticed with this trend of holding back kids (or, "redshirting" as it's now called), is that many kids are bored in class. Many are a lot bigger than the other kids. Some are mean. I wonder if it's hard for the teachers to teach a class of kids with up to an 18 month difference in ages instead of a 12 month difference? That alone can be huge. Yes, there are children who aren't ready for school. They aren't ready socially, emotionally, or academically - or a combination of all of those! If their parents don't think they are ready to go, so be it. I'm all for looking at each child on a child-by-child basis and making those decisions as they apply to each child. But not enrolling your child in school when they are eligible and ready doesn't make a lot of sense to me when there's no good reason. I'm not sure what these parents are hoping to gain by not putting their kids in school during the child's eligible year. Do they presume that it'll give their child an edge on maturity? Are they trying to prolong childhood and delay adulthood? Will the child be bigger? Is this all about sports? I know for some people it is, but our lives are not all about sports. Will these kids wonder why they are the oldest one in the graduating class? Will they wonder why their parents made these decisions? I just don't now. All I know is that Brandon was ready. We knew it early on in his life. Of course, when we made this decision his birthday was 3 months from the school cut-off. It was only when we moved states that we were faced with this even though decision that has been repeatedly tossed into my face in the past few years.

So, lady who will have the older kids in the class, please don't call me crazy because my child is a younger student. I don't understand your reasoning, and I didn't call you crazy with my tone of voice and choice of words. My child was more than ready to go to school when the time came. He's also doing just fine! I'm not worried about his academic future. Things may happen. Things may change. But right now he's right where he should be, and doing well!

Meet the Finklestones

Tonight Caitlin requested to watch "The Finklestones". Having absolutely *no idea* what she was talking about, I gave her a blank stare. Brandon then said, "Do you mean 'The Flintstones'?"

Oooohhhhh!!!

It's amazing how she managed to change the entire show in my mind with one little mistake.

Dark Vader

Caitlin is currently upstairs fighting an unknown enemy with a lightsaber. Despite all my attempts to correct her, she keeps yelling "I'm Dark Vader!"

The Toothless Wonder

The toothless wonder strikes again!

It's been almost a year since he lost his first and second tooth (tooths?). Now, in 2011, we're on to #3, and on to the top teeth. He was very proud that it came out at school (when he bit into his PB and honey sandwich). I guess it's some sort of badge of honor for the second grade set. For the kid who got 6 teeth in 6 weeks, starting at 6 months old, he's pretty slow at having them come out. And, once again, the adult tooth is already poking through.

Glow in the Dark Mini Golf!

Caitlin's in yellow sweats. Brandon's in light jeans and a white shirt. They knew what they were doing this time and dressed appropriately. Caitlin can't putt a golf ball to save her life, but we had a good time.

breathing

I had the most amazing, colossal, knee-shaking, scary asthma attack this morning. Coughing strong enough to bring me to my knees. Gasping for breath. Shaking all over. All from shoveling the front walkway. The walkway! That little, no more than 3 foot long cement path that runs from our driveway to the front door. It took 5 minutes! I'm not sure if it was the cold air (3 degrees), the dryness of the air, or the fact that I'm not over this illness yet. Whatever the cause, it was scary. I was grateful for the inhaler that the doctor gave me last week, and I could feel it opening my lungs. Except for the fact that I had to go upstairs to get it, I was grateful.

Now I'm wondering - should I get on a regular prescription for this stuff? Maybe at least until winter's over? Should I shovel the sidewalk? It is the law around here (and the town newspaper and all the media make sure we know that we're legally liable to clear our sidewalks of snow). Brian's gone for a few days, so it's all up to me. Should I worry that my loud cough didn't wake up Caitlin? Really. She slept through the whole thing. This cough seems loud enough to wake the dead. Would she come to my rescue if I passed out? Hmmmm....

I'm not use to this. My asthma only comes into play when I do sports like soccer, or cross country. Anything that involves running and heavy breathing. So I just don't do things like that, and I have no problems. But this..... this is hard. I'm still sick. I'm having a hard time breathing, and the dry air makes it worse. Maybe no snow shoveling for this girl this week. As much as I love winter and snow, I'm looking forward to the temps in the mid-40's by the end of the week. I want to breathe easier.

Oh My, What a Week!I

I'm writing this before I take my narcotics infused cough syrup for the evening. Why? Because I'm afraid that after I take the lovely elixir of sleep, I'll be unable to type a coherent sentence (or stay awake to see if it posted!). Oh my, what a week it's been! Everyone home, all at the same time, for two extra days. I don't know that I'm cut out to be one of those women who is suppose to be home with her family 24/7. Yet another reason home schooling is not for me.

The week started out normally. We hosted small group on Sunday, which isn't small. Making dinner for 20 people is always a challenge. The kids were so excited that people were coming to our house that they waited outside for 15 minutes for people to show up. You'd think we never had people over! We were okay with them being outside and running around, as the weather forecast showed bitter cold moving in soon. Might be the last time they'd get out for a few days.

Monday was a free morning for me, so Caitlin and I had a relaxing mommy/daughter morning. We're busy most mornings, so this one was a rare treat. We get one Monday a month together. I'd heard about possible school cancellations on Tuesday, so we hit the stores with stealth, stocking up on everything we needed for a few days. By noon it was bitterly cold outside Temperatures had fallen by at least 20 degrees since I'd woken up. By school pick-up it was blowing snow. My fingers were going numb in my gloves as I waited for the boys to get out of class. By 3:15 the notice had gone out that school would be cancelled Tuesday due to extreme cold. Fun.

By Tuesday, I was coughing - hard. No fun. Brian worked from home, and the kids were both home with me. Although it was cold, everything was open, so the kids and I headed out for lunch and play time at the mall. They're too big for the mall play area, but it's heaven when the high for the day is 1 below zero. The roads were steamy from the sun and melting snow, and the sidewalks sparkled with cold beauty. But by Tuesday night, I was miserable.

On Wednesday, school was closed. Again. Below zero. Again. The news treated this arctic blast as if it was the coldest snap we've ever had here. Not so. It's been colder before and there were no school closures. The high was somewhere around zero again. I was deep in the throes of a cold. I barked like a seal. I was sure my head was coming loose from my body whenever I coughed. If I'd had a paying job, I would have taken a sick day and stayed in bed. But I don't get that option. Instead, I managed kids and tried to stay upright. It was just kind of wimpy that school was closed again. I spent a lot of time on the couch. I was able to get in and see a doctor, who said I had inflamed lungs and put my on steroids. Brian was nice enough to make dinner (it was the only way he'd eat!), which freed me up to lay around some more. At this point I was sure I was turning into an old lady. My whole body ached. I had a hard time opening my hands, or even gripping anything. I felt like I had arthritis all over. I'm not sure how much of this was due to my illness or to the cold weather.

Thursday - school was open! Yay! I almost danced, but due to cold weather induced arthritis like symptoms, much coughing and lack of sleep, I decided against it. My joy was short lived when Caitlin came downstairs crying. She was running a 99.5 degree fever and was miserable. Brandon went to school, but Caitlin and I stayed home. We did a lot of laying around together. My cold got progressively worse. The high for the day got up to 27, which was downright balmy compared to zero.

Then came Friday.... the least fun day of all. My cough was so extreme that I was up all night, sure I was going to lose my dinner. By Friday morning I was shaking and crying for no reason. For 4 hours. So, so tired. So achy. So run down. I called my doctors office first thing, and by 3:00 pm I had secured a prescription for some powerful cough syrup. The kind you can only take at night. And some antibiotics. Why does the doctor think I need antibiotics for a cold? She never gave me a good explanation. I'm not planning on taking them. Caitlin was home again with me again, still running a fever. Poor thing! She cried and cried when I told her she couldn't go to school. It was a sad, sad morning here, complete with two crying females. Bet Brian was glad to go into the office! We did what we were good at - more laying around and napping - which alleviated some of the shaking. I can't tell you how excited I was to go to bed that night. And I slept!!!! Yay!!!

So here we are at Saturday. I felt all charged up from sleeping! After three nights of not sleeping well, or at all, I felt like I could take on the world! I was quickly brought back to reality after having to recover from taking a shower, and changed my mind on that. Nope, still not recovered. Not even a little. The kids are back on track. Not sick. No fevers. Just a little cough. And waayyyyy too much energy.

I'm really hoping for a more normal week next week. And I'm hoping this pesky, powerful, persistent cough will be gone. But now.... on to that cough syrup....

Dreaming....

I watched about 20 minutes of "New Moon" last night. For all the hype, I thought the special effects would have been better. I guess they were good enough, since I spent most of the night having dreams about werewolves. Man, I'm tired today!!

On Turning 5

It's been over a week, and I haven't even written about Caitlin's birthday! Probably because it's taken me until now to recover from it all! I'm not sure why I agreed to letting Caitlin have a sleep-over, even if it was with only 3 other friends. Probably because her older brother got to have one for his birthday. I'm not sure why I agreed to Brandon's request to have his friend J spend the night during Caitlin's party. Probably because on of Brandon's friends came a long distance for his sleep-over in September, so I added in the friend's little sister (a friend of Caitlin's as well) to sweeten the deal. But I do know why I was exhausted..... too many kids!!! :-)

So, as you know, Caitlin requested a sleep-over for her birthday. It was more of a requirement, actually. She came up one day and announced the names of the friends she wanted to invite to her sleep-over. Excuse me? We're having a sleep-over? In the end we agreed, and managed to whittle her list down from just about everyone in her school to 3 close friends.

We did the party the Friday before her birthday. My preference would have been doing it the weekend after her birthday, but I was gone that weekend, so that wouldn't work. Doing it when we did meant jumping into birthday planning with both feet right after returning from our holiday trip. Nothing like sending out a birthday Evite a week an a half before the event! Crazy at it all was, it went pretty well. We are all aware of the bossy friend, and the quiet friend, and the rambunctious friend. I now know which of Caitlin's friends doesn't do well staying overnight, and which ones will eventually go to sleep if Brian plants himself on the couch at 10:00 pm. I even managed to plan a menu that worked well with nut and dairy allergies. Go me! I sometime think we're the only family around without any food allergy issues. I also know that having a friend over for the other sibling isn't necessary, just fair. But now we're all even, so I don't need to do this for a loooonnngggg time.

Caitlin's sleep-over was a success, and I brought snack to her school the day before her birthday. We were all set to bring snacks to AWANA on the night of her actual birthday, but the crazy, fast, windy, blowing snow got all evening events cancelled. We did managed to celebrate her birthday with Daddy after he arrived home almost 3 hours after leaving work. I'm sure his co-workers were thrilled with the 3 dozen frosted cupcakes he brought to work the next day. I was happy to see them leave.

I'm also happy that I don't have to do another birthday party for 9 months. Yay!

Roar!!!!

I finally got it scanned! This is what we did over Thanksgiving. Crazy, huh?

What About the Big Yellow Chicken?

Obviously my children did not watch enough "Sesame Street" during their formative years. Caitlin was doing a maze in a Sesame Street writing skills tablet during homework time today. She turned to me and said "Hey Mom, am I suppose to get this big yellow chicken from here to there?" Big yellow chicken? She knows who Elmo and Oscar the Grouch are, but Big Bird has apparently not made much of an impression.

Trapped in the Body of An Office Worker

I had a massage today. It was wonderful. Then again, is a massage ever not wonderful? I woke up in the middle of the night last week with my lower back in pain. I must have done something to it, but I don't know what that was. All I know is that I woke up in a lot of pain. Enough pain to get up and turn on the closet light in the middle of the night to look for my heating pad, knowing full well that I might wake up Brian in the process. That kind of pain.

Although the back is slooooowly getting better, I'm still in daily pain, and a massage was in order. So I made an appointment at a place nearby. The woman was great - I'm sure I'll go back. And, she does mostly massage therapy, which works better on my neck (and back) than massage for pure relaxation. About half way through the massage, at the turning point from front to back, she asked me how many hours I spent at work in front of the computer. When I told her I didn't work, she seemed surprised. She said that the muscles of my shoulders, back and neck feel like those of someone who sits and works a full time job, usually one in front of a computer.

Great. So, I'm a stay-at-home mom trapped in the body of an office worker? How fun for me. I've been working hard at home to get sore muscles and a tight back. I've tried hard to get sick, to stay up late and not get enough sleep, and to not exercise. It's been rough work the last few weeks to get me into this condition. Maybe now I can trade in the mom jeans and over sized sweatshirts and get me some office clothes. Anything to look like the person whose body I have. Bleah. Maybe next week, after Caitlin's birthday/slumber party is finished, I can get back to the mom routine I had prior to the Christmas break. Things are starting up again. School's back in session. Things are looking up.

Way to be Prepared!

Caitlin went through her school backpack yesterday and pulled out her extra set of clothes for school. These are emergency clothes. The kind you only use if you accidentally wet your pants, or spill a vat of paint all over yourself. Those kind. In the year and a half that she's been in preschool, she's never used them. However, I like to be prepared. Obviously I'm not, since this is what she pulled out:

Lovely. A size 4 t-shirt and some size 3 leggings. She's a tall girl, and has been almost completely out of size 4's for a couple of months now. And size 3 leggings? Geez!! Good going, Mom! Way to be prepared! Good think she hasn't needed these in the last month. Seeing that it's currently a whopping 8 degrees outside right now, there are 4 inches of frozen snow everywhere, and we had a high of 15 yesterday (for a whole 20 minutes, I think), I think I should dig through her winter clothes and come up with a few we can put in the extra clothes bag. These ones wouldn't cut it in the snow and ice we've had the last few days.

Lights, Lights and more Lights

Going out and looking at Christmas lights is a tradition in our little family. Brian and I have been doing this since we got married. We lived in a highly immigrant neighborhood back then, and very few people decorated their houses with lights. At the time we were in an apartment, and couldn't really do much with lights and decorations outside of our home. We drove down to the Willow Glen area to look at all the beautiful lights on all the beautiful houses. Now that we live in Colorado, which has a far more homogeneous population than California, we don't have to drive as far to see all the beautiful lights that people display on and around their houses.

We braved the dry, 25 degree weather tonight to go look at some impressive light displays. The kids didn't even put on sweatshirts, so they were a little cold. Luckily I had some extra clothing in the car for them to wear. We went to a beautifully decorated house whose owners had this type of display in mind when they designed and built the place. The kids were fascinated by the trains both inside and outside the house, and the fact that Santa (not real) was inside sitting at the table. The pictures are somewhat blurry, as I kept the flash off to see the effects of the lights, but are pretty nonetheless.

So, What About the Talking?

For a couple of years now, Brandon has been our bedtime talker. He'll be pretty quiet about the day's events, but suddenly opens up at night after reading and tells us all sorts of things. Sometimes they're worth hearing about, sometimes not. Either way, we try not to discourage him from telling us what's on his mind. Caitlin has recently picked up on this, and now wants to "talk" at night, too. The problem is, she has nothing left to talk about. Caitlin talks all day long, all the time. She talks to us, to herself, to her friends, and to anyone who will listen. In fact, one of things we ask her to do the most is to stop talking!

Last night, after I'd read to Brandon, he asked me a few questions about something. It was so random and mundane that a mere 12 hours later, I can't remember what it was. After I'd answered his questions and tucked him in, I headed next door to Caitlin's room. We talked for a few minutes. I changed her CD and tucked her in. Then she put her hands behind her head (elbows out), and said, "So, what about the talking?" When I asked her what she meant, she said it was now time to talk. No subject matter, mind you, just words. Let's just spew forth words. I had to laugh! She's such a girl! She wants to wear dresses even though she's the most unladylike thing you've ever seen. She likes play dates at friend's houses, and tells me that it was fun "because I've never seen the inside of her house before!" And now she wants to randomly talk right before bed, because it's what your suppose to do. I must say, it's a privilege to have a boy and a girl. It's so fun to see how they are wired. No boy ever says "So, let's just talk." But not Caitlin. No doubt about her girly wiring there.

About the Pageant

Caitlin's Christmas pageant was the other night. We were a little better prepared this year. The weather helped. It was a warm day that turned into a cold, but not frigid or icy, evening. I managed to get the kids fed and out the door on time. It didn't seem as crowded at the church for the Wednesday service as it had last year. Maybe because it wasn't as difficult to get to without the snow and ice.

Caitlin has been preparing for this big event for nearly a month now. She's mangled many a lyric, and yet somehow managed to get them all correct and even wrap her mouth around the word "triumph", which isn't an easy word for the preschool crowd. She was so proud as she walked up the aisle. The amount of time and energy she has put into her performance this year as opposed to last year, when she was just 3, was impressive. She cared so much more about getting all the hand motions correct, and really practiced all her songs. We didn't get a great seat for her performance (who knew the angels would be sequestered to one side?), but we did get a few good pictures.

Her halo fell down at the very end, right before exiting the stage. Somehow, I'm not surprised.
Practicing her Miss America wave to the fam

Fireplace Reading

This is where I found Caitlin this morning. Should I tell her that it's suppose to be a record-breaking 70 degrees today, and not the cold, snowy December that we're use to?

AWANAS

We decided to put the kids in AWANA this year. So far so good. Sometimes I think I'm crazy, since it goes from 6:30 - 8:20 on Wednesday nights, and is in a neighboring town some 8 miles away, but the kids love it. It does make for late nights, though. Brian and I get a date night (provided he's in a town) for those two hours, which makes us feel like a young couple again, and not old, worn out parents. Here are the kids studying their verses for the Sparks class (Brandon) and the Cubbies class (Caitlin).

The Saga of the Washer and Dryer

You know you're an adult when you buy a washer and dryer on Black Friday. No sweaters. No cute shoes. No electronics. Just a washer and dryer. That was our exciting, and only, purchase of the day. It was Black Friday. And it was a good deal. Half price.

I'm now the proud owner of a front loader HE washing machine. I've only washed a few loads of clothes, and have discovered something already - I'm kind of a slob when it comes to washing. Things fall out of the laundry basket on the way down the stairs. Caitlin's socks reside all over the house, and I am not good at collecting them all. I forget things. I find clothes behind the kids hampers 10 minutes after starting a load of laundry. I'm going to have to come up with a new system, because you can't just re-open the front loading machine when you realized you've forgotten something (or, in Caitlin's case, suddenly spotted a sock under the sofa). I use to be able to do this, long ago, when I had to walk to other buildings, or down several flights of stairs to find a laundry room (hoping there was a machine available). But then again, I was only washing my own clothes. Maybe over time I'll get better, but we have a lot of kids socks whose mate is still hiding somewhere.

It is nice to have a dryer that just works. With the exception of the 5 months in our rental house in Colorado, I haven't had a reliable dryer for almost 7 years. In 2002 we rented a duplex with a very nice washer and dryer. Brand new. After years and years of apartment living, laundromats, and sharing washers and dryers, we felt so spoiled. We moved from that place in the spring of 2004, and I've had to monitor the dryer ever since. The next dryer cooled down so drastically after the machine reached a certain stage - which was about half an hour into the cycle - that I had to reset the machine back in order to get dry clothes. Half and hour later I had to manually set it on cool down. The dryer that came with our current house had no buttons when we first moved in. The cycles were controlled by a vice-grip set of pliers that you used to move to turn the dryer on and off. Right after I bought new knobs, the timer went out. My clothes dried, but only if I monitored the time of the cycle. And manually set it on cool down. So now, almost 7 years later, I don't have to worry about how long the dryer has been on. It turns itself off! I don't have to set a timer. I don't have to panic that I forgot to turn off the dryer after leaving the house (and then turn around and drive home to double check that the dryer is off). The other night I had clothes in dryer, and went to bed before they were dry, because I could! In all reality, I have so little room to complain. I haven't had to share a dryer for years. And my clothes always dried. So it was good. But when you do all the laundry for 4 people, it's nice to not have to always monitor the dryer.

So now we are officially adults. It had nothing to do with age, I guess, but with lifestyle choices. We own a home. We are no longer nomadic. Now we'll have to decide whether or not we want to move them whenever our time here is done. I'm a little sad that everything we own no longer fits into the small to mid-sized U-Haul. We have too much stuff. We've grown up. But what about all those other adults that really don't grown-ups who don't qualify as adults. They still revel in their child-like living? Maybe they should own a washer and dryer.

Yo Ho Yo Ho

Caitlin's singing her Christmas songs again. This time it's "We Three Kings." She's singing the line that goes "oh, oh, star of wonder, star of light" as "yo, ho, star of wonder...." It's a pirate's life for me.

More Lyrics to Kill

Caitlin's moved on from "Hark the Herald Angels Sing." Now she's massacring the lyrics to "Joy to the World". Her lyrics are:

"Let earth receive her king!

Let every heart prepare to hurt!" (instead of "prepare him room")a

And, she's singing it all at the top of her lungs in the store. Lovely.

Even More Lyrics

Today - yet more new lyrics for "Hark the Herald Angels Sing":

Joyful all the nations rise,

Join the tramp above the skies!

With all jelly all day long!

Christ is born in Bethlehem.

I'm starting to think she's changing the words because we laugh. However, many, many people at Target, and at the mall in general, were amused by the constant singing and improvised lyrics. Really. They told me so.

Tramp... Triumph...Who Cares?

The lyrics to "Hark the Herald Angels Sing" have changed in the last few hours. Now the line "Join the triumph of the skies" is now "Join the tramp up in the skies." At some point we are hoping that Caitlin will be able to say the word "triumph". Before the church preschool Christmas pageant would be nice.

Join the Trip Above the Skies

Caitlin is currently rehearsing "Hark, The Herald Angels Sing" in the bathtub. Her lyrics go something like this:

"Joyful all the nations rise,

Join the trip above the skies! (Join the triumph of the skies)

With all jelly hosts proclaim, (With the angelic hosts proclaim)

Christ is born in Bethlehem!"

I'm worried about the jellied hosts, but the trip above the skies sounds pretty good to me.

Swimming in the Garage

As I was pulling the car out of the garage this morning on the way to preschool, Caitlin said she would like to go swimming. I gently reminded her that the pools in town are closed from September to June. She then told me that she wanted me to set up the blow-up pool in the garage and fill it with water. Ha! That's so wrong on so many levels. First there's the concussion problem we'd have if she flopped into the pool while it's on a cement floor. Then there's the weather now that we've entered the time of year in Colorado known as "it won't be warm for the next 6 months". Brrrr. Might reach 60 today. Who knows?

I guess it's time to tell Caitlin that we'll be heading down to Colorado Springs in a few days. We're staying a hotel with an indoor pool. Although we won't be at the pool all the time, as Caitlin would like, I'm sure it will be enough to make her happy for a while.

The Absentee Blogger

I'm an absentee blogger lately. Sorry. Brandon got sick the weekend of Halloween, and I followed suit. He recovered quite a bit quicker than I did. For a head cold, this one really wiped me out. The head and stomach hurt, and I spent a few days eating only saltines (although the scale is not reflecting my drastic cut in calories). After a week, I was up and down. I'd feel good one day, and be up. The next day I'd feel horrible, and be down on the couch. Top it all off with trouble hearing out of one ear, a sensitive stomach, busy kids and a traveling husband and well, the blog lay silent. I'm now on the road to recovery, thanks to some antibiotics and steroid spray to clear up the non-draining sinus (which should lead to being able to hear again someday!), so I thought I'd catch you up on what we've been up to:

Halloween-

Thank God it's over! Is it just me, or does it get crazier every year until you kids go to college? Brandon was Juice Box and Caitlin was Tinkerbell. Caitlin spotted a cute Tinkerbell outfit in the thrift store when I was looking for a miners hat for Brandon (not even for Halloween - for Constitution Day. Heck - why not add another costume to October?). Yay! Before that she wanted to be Clifford. That would have been labor intensive.

AWANA-

we signed the kids up for AWANA on Wednesday nights. There is very little close by where we live, so it's a 7 mile drive to the church where they meet. Initially it was very chaotic, but we now understand what we're doing, so it's good. The kids love it, and are very good at verse memorization. Brian and I have made it "date night" for us, since we have a 2 hour window kid-free (!!!). Every other week we meet up with another couple whose kids are also in AWANA. It's a nice change. The only downside is that we don't get home until almost 9:00. That's late for our kiddos to get into bed. But they're learning God's word, which makes it all worth it.

Brandon -

He loves school. We had a parent-teacher meeting a while back, and found out he's reading at an early 3rd grade level. Go Brandon! He loves math and science, and seems to be doing well in his class. His teacher got him into a handwriting workshop that meets twice a week for just under half an hour. I'm glad he's getting help at school with his handwriting. We butt heads on this one at home. It's the one area I almost can't help him with.

Caitlin-

Also loves school. She's in preschool 3 days a week, and is so happy. She has been writing a lot, and attempting to read. Every day when Brandon does his homework she drags out her "homework" so they can do it together. Parenting her "4 Going on 14" attitude is another story. Her favorite phrase is, quite literally, "Just let me do what I want to do!" What she wants to do is wear shorts and flip-flops in the snow, forgo underwear and socks, cut her hair off, and listen to her CD player loudly at all times. So far, I've let her cut her hair short. I've hidden all forms of sandals and flip-flops, and have absolutely no issues going through her drawers if she can't wear appropriate clothing. Luckily, the weather here get cold enough that eventually even the most stubborn of children will at least wear something warm.

Me -

I've been doing publicity for my MOPS group, a Bible study on Revelation, and meeting with a group of women on Thursday mornings. Other than that I'm a full time mother to two children.

Brian-

He's been doing a new job within the same company for a couple of months now. It seems to be going well. You'd have to ask him for more details.

I think that's about it from our little family. At some point I'm going to put more pictures up on the picture site, but that's for another day. Maybe the Thanksgiving holiday. Maybe.

Brandon's Rules

Sign found in Brandon's room this morning. Spelling and rules written just as they appear:

Rules in hear:

1) No snapping (as in snapping your fingers)

2) No wisiling

3) No jumping on the bed

4) No hiding anything

5) No playing with anything unless I say

6) No fiting (fighting)

7) No stomping

8) No annoying

Now you know the rules of Brandon's room for next time. Don't say you weren't warned!

Why I Shop There

Why do I shop at King Soopers? I complain about it a lot. The stores are poorly laid out. The cashiers are slower than molasses. But, this is my latest receipt:

It's the sales. Granted, the prices are better than most grocery stores, but it's still a grocery store. But this week was the "mega event" (really - that's what they're called) "buy 10, get $5 off" promotion. I didn't need to go shopping last week. This whole trip was stock-up shopping on sale items. On this trip I bought 10 boxes of Annie's organic mac-n-cheese, 2 quarts of organic chicken broth, 5 cans of other chicken broth, 2 bags of Ricola, coffee creamer, dividers for my binder, and 3 Halloween pumpkin buckets for the backyard. 24 items in total. By combining store savings, specials and coupons, I bought $47 worth of food stuff for $10. There's more this week, too, so I'll be back. I don't think I've ever gotten a 79% savings before. It's so much better, too, when you can get great deals on organics. They're usually so expensive!

I wish Safeway did this with items I actually use (I'll be skipping the fruit roll-ups and Count Chocula cereals, thank you). It's so much closer, too. King Soopers is by Caitlin's school - a full 8 miles away - so I doubt I'll shop there very often after she is out of preschool. Maybe I'll make special trips out for these great deals. Might be worth the gas money. Since my daily/weekly schedule will completely change yet again next year with Caitlin in kindergarten, I don't know how things will fall into place. But if I can keep shopping like this, we'll have more money to do fun stuff!

Costumes

Okay, I'm a little late on this one. Brandon was sick the weekend of Halloween, but was able to go out for a while to go trick or treating. Combine that with a busy week, Mommy catching Brandon's cold, and Daddy being gone on a business trip, and well... there was very little getting done.

We had a juice box and Tinkerbell around for Halloween. Here's the picture to prove it.

Once I figure out this new computer, I might get a few more pictures up on the Picassa site. Good luck to me.

Bleah! Spider!

Look at the amazingly big spider I found in the basement yesterday!


It was quite icky. I was kneeling down to check on the furnace, and almost put my knee on it. While I think I would have won, it wouldn't have been pleasant. The kids were proud of the fact I caught it, and even found a place in the backyard to put it. Bleah! Glad it's gone!

Pumpkin Patch 2010

Summer has gone on for what feels like forever around here, but the forecast is saying fall might really be here to stay this week. The leaves are turning and the hillsides are taking on a golden hue. In taking advantage of the warm weather, we decided to brave the Colorado pumpkin patches last weekend. It was a breeze! Unlike last year, the pumpkin crop was a good one. The evenings have been above freezing so far (just barely last night), we've had no snow yet, and almost no rain all summer. Really, there weren't any reasons that the pumpkin patch should be a muddy, yucky mess this time around!

We headed out right after soccer (which explains Caitlin's shirt). It was warm and dry, and not cold. Last year we looked at several hundred pumpkins (no exaggeration there) in order to find a few that weren't rotten. This year the good ones outnumbered the rotten ones by a wide margin. What a nice difference. We still got a little dirty. That one seems hard not do around these parts. But we came home with two nice pumpkins, and two happy children. I'm hoping that now Caitlin will stop asking to get a pumpkin every time she sees one at the store.

Last Day of Soccer (!!!)

Oh yes, it's the last day of soccer, and we are happy! The kids aren't thrilled, but mom and dad are looking forward to having our Saturday's back for a while. Mom is also looking forward to not hanging out at the park every Thursday night from 5:30-6:30, sweating while the sun's up and then freezing for 15-20 minutes because the sun has gone behind the Flatirons and, once again, she forgot a sweater.

Today was payback for last weekend, when we only had one game. At 11:00 am. It was a leisurely morning. Today was not the same story. Both kids had games at 9:00 am. It was cold, and the fields were very wet. Fall has arrived, and we could feel it today. On the bright side, we had the whole day available to us after 10:00! It was a very.long.day.

The kids have had a great soccer season. Both want to do it again in the spring. I'm all for signing them up again. But I'm reclaiming Saturdays for a while!

Above - Caitlin demonstrating the pack mentality of playing soccer that is so prevalent in the Little Kickers division.

Over Analysing the Doctor

I read The Cat in the Hat by Dr. Suess to Caitlin this afternoon. Her choice, not mine. It's not my favorite book. At least it's an easy read. But now, as a parent, I find it a little odder than I did as a kid. I know it's just a book, but I find it strange that in the book there are two little kids left at home all afternoon. Now I'm also worried that the fish is the voice of reason. Maybe I should just read, and not analyse.

Tired

I knew I was tired yesterday. MOPS mornings always wear me out. Maybe it's the early hours, or helping clear things up after the meeting, but I felt drained. Brian was in Seattle most of last week, meaning I was more tired than usual. Our neighbor was gone to California for 5 days, meaning I needed to take and pick up Brandon from school (which, although not exhausting, takes up some extra time in the morning). Caitlin's school was closed for three days last week due to a Lutheran teachers conference, taking away 8 hours that I usually have to myself to do things. I spend a good chunk of the weekend working on the MOPS newsletter because of that. Last night I went to a women's event at church. But it was early this morning, when I put on my glasses and realized the world had gone from clear to blurry, I really knew I was tired.

I don't even know the last time I didn't take my contacts out at night because I forgot. Maybe I never have. I use to have the kind you wore at night, but they bothered my eyes so much when I wore them overnight that I eventually started taking them out in the evenings. In Colorado it's so amazingly dry, especially in the winter, that there are days I can't wear them past 4:00 or 5:00 in the evening. I was so confused this morning when I put on my glasses and everything went blurry. I hadn't been awake long enough to register how clear I was seeing. I didn't want to wake up, so I hadn't turned a light on at all. So much for finally being use to my 6:00 am mornings.

It's funny how it's the little things that wear you down. There was no big event going on. Nothing major happened to me last week. Brian was gone most of the week, and single parenting is always tiring. I wonder if single parents ever get use to it? Our neighbor was gone for 5 days, so I took Brandon to school. Not only does that mean getting Caitlin up early, but then there's the exhaustion of pulling her away from the swings after the bell rings for class. With Caitlin's school closed for several days and no available play dates (trust me, I tried!), I spent more time than usual entertaining her when I needed to get other things done. The weekend included soccer, dinner at a friend's house, finishing the MOPS newsletter, our small group, and a newcomers lunch. You'd think I would have gotten enough sleep due to oversleeping by an hour on Sunday! Saturday morning wasn't so bad, either. But a bunch of little things combined are enough to wear a person down. I'm still feeling tired, and it's 9:00 am! Obviously I should get off the computer and get my rear in gear.

I'm grateful for the cold, rainy weather today. Fall is here. Playing outside after school is limited, which means homework and AWANA memorization is done earlier. The kids bedtimes come earlier. And from how this post sounds, I should make mine a little earlier, too.

Punk

Caitlin got her hair spray painted at Brandon's school's fundraiser event last week. Doesn't she look a little punk?

How to Not Be a Dragon

This is how it's suppose to be worn.
After all, it's a size 12 months.


This is how it was being worn the other day.


I just hope it isn't all stretched out.

Brandon Stats - Age 7

Brandon had his 7 year check-up today. All is well in Brandon-land. He is now up to a whopping almost 4 feet tall, and weighs in at just over 47 pounds. Brian was busy today, so only Brandon and I went to the pediatrician's office. I can't remember the last time that happened! It's so much calmer with just one child.

Height - 47 3/4 inches (50th percentile)
Weight - 47 1/4 pounds (25th percentile)

He's back in the 25th percentile in weight. It doesn't seem to matter how much he eats. Caitlin has a much more varied palate as far as food is concerned, but Brandon eats better. He eats more, and we don't usually have to get on him to eat a decent amount at each meal. This year he has discovered the joys of hot dogs (okay - it's a mystery meat. I get that. But at least it's something he can eat at a picnic or BBQ) and granola bars. He's still growing, and I'm still struggling with finding clothes that fit him, and least girth-wise. He is widening his circle of friends at school. He's always been on the shy side, so this is a good sign.

Other things Brandon is up to:

• Playing soccer again, for the fall season. We're much warmer this time around.
• Making new friends.
• Reading at the top of his class
• Wrapping his mind all around math and science. At this rate, we aren't going to be able to keep up with him in a few more years.
• Swims all by himself, thanks to a week in Florida.
• Waters his Daddy's tomato and rosemary plants.
• Exploring "Star Wars" (but not yet obsessed with it!)
• Can be very sensitive and caring with others. This is displayed especially well in his tenderness towards our neighbor's little baby (born in January), and his niceness to her older brother, who is 3.
• Acting in all other ways like a 7 year old. Compared with the other boys he hangs out with, he seems much more mature. Time will tell, I guess, but that's what I see.

Fall

Around 4:00 am, in the early morning hours, I got cold. My sheet and quilt, which have been far too many covers for most of this summer, were not enough. I tried to snuggle up to Brian, but he was already cocooned in the bedding, leaving little warmth for me to glean from him. I got up, finally, and shut the window.

Cold.

I haven't felt that for a while.

Summer came early this year. It was hot in May. Early May was cool. We even had snow on the 12th. But after that, it was hot, and it stayed hot. My May pictures show children running through sprinklers. Children in bathing suits. The town pools were not yet open, and we were hot! Summer was hot, too. Not as hot as parts of California can get, but hot. Air conditioners running. Cool showers. At least a third of the summer days were in the mid 90's, and didn't cool down in the evenings. 75 is not a nighttime cool down in my opinion. The issue you run into in Colorado is that the sun is intense. That's great in the winter, when you crave the warmth of the sun. In the summer, though, it makes your skin crawl. I seek shade so that my arms don't hurt. Summer isn't my favorite season. My allergies get worse the hotter it gets. I have headaches that last for days. I don't sleep well. I try to appreciate it here, as it's the only time Colorado is green and looks alive.

But now..... it's cool.

Brian noted that it was suddenly cold last night. I smiled. I am so looking forward to fall. I am looking forward to the busyness of the season. The busyness of routine. School, events, soccer, activities. Some is old and much is new. I'm looking forward to fall colors - even though they lead to the barrenness of winter in these parts. Fire reds, hot pinks, brilliant oranges, muted browns. So beautiful. I'm looking forward to sleeping with my windows closed. Silence. Snuggling under the down comforter. Fireplace. Cool days. Open windows during the day. Happy children. Being able to bake again. I am looking forward to the big, fluffy clouds that have been absent (along with the rain) this summer. I look forward to the possibilities that recent changes will bring. It's a new start. A new season. Cool, crisp air to breath in and breath out.

On Having a 7 Year Old

I have a 7 year old. It's wonderful. He gets up (most of the time) to his alarm clock. He can get dressed all by himself. He reads, he writes, he's independent and friendly. He walks to school. He plays soccer. He divides numbers in his head, and has a theory for how everything works.


He also waits patiently by his presents until it's time to open them.

Happy Birthday Brandon!!!

School Celebration

Since there's no school tomorrow, Brandon's class celebrated his birthday today. I didn't manage to catch all their birthday song, but what I got is cute. Brandon loved being celebrated!

Unanswered

We joined a small group at our new church. Last night was our first meeting, and everyone seemed pretty low-key and normal.  I'm resisting the urge to assign a value factor to this first meeting, but I did get a positive vibe from the experience.  We'll be heading back in the near future to meet up with them again and see if this is the right small group for us.

But that's not the point of this post. For a few months now, we've been in the process of "moving on" from our previous church to a new church. Joining the new small group was just one piece of trying to make this puzzle. Prior to joining FCC, we weren't thinking about leaving our LifeGroup. At least not yet. But the new small group met on the same day, same time as our previous LifeGroup, and we can't be two places at once. Deciding to be pro-active about the situation (since we'd never heard anything one way or another about our old LifeGroup starting back up again this fall), Brian sent an e-mail to the leader last week, on Sunday. He explained that we'd left CBC and joined another church over the summer, and that we were joining a small group there. Coincidentally, but for another reason, I had sent an e-mail to another member of the group explaining the same thing. Our e-mails were polite and nice. We read each other's messages. No edge at all. It's been over a week, and we have never heard anything back.

Nothing.

Not even the polite sort of "sorry to see you go" response. The kind you send even if you aren't sorry to see someone go. Just... nothing.

Crickets chirping can be so loud.

We're not really all that surprised to have heard nothing. Brian decided last night that we need to stop feeling sad or offended about it, and keep pushing forward. Maybe, he said, God is using their lack of response to our leaving the group as a means to reinforce the reasons we're leaving and moving on. Even though this complete lack of response is hard, I don't have any more energy to pour into this situation. I'm so tired. I'm exhausted.

I've tried not to take this lack of connecting in a meaningful way personally, which is very, very hard for me not to do. I read a quote today that said "It doesn't take long to realize that if you're just passing through, people will only give you passing interest." It resonated with me, but not quite in the way the author intended. We are not just passing through here. We are trying to be part of this big, rather unfriendly place. We are trying to enmesh ourselves in community, choosing to be with people and live as believers. It's not as if we were just passing through at our church, either. We were there for several years. When we came to the realization sometime around Christmas that we were still outside, we had to make some hard decisions. And the main decision was that we needed to move on. At that point I started to withdraw myself from the the communities I was part of. I stopped attending MOPS (which I was only sporadically attending anyway), and finished out the semester of my Bible study small group on Wednesday mornings. We attended church as long as our LifeGroup met, and stopped when it ended for the summer. Now we are somewhere else. Colorado is fine, but has so far proven to be a tough nut to crack. I have to believe that God has good things in store for our future, but I have no idea what they are or where they'll take place. Who knows how we'll feel in another year. The same? I hope not.

**On a side note, I need to stop writing about this. I've come to the conclusion that I'm a complainer at heart, which is something I need to change. And, at this point, I'm just complaining. It's taken over a week for me to push the "publish" button. Sorry for one more post on this subject, but I have to get it out.**

Soccer, Soccer and More Soccer

Two kids in soccer is just, well, crazy.

Caitlin and her buddy, Mia. They go to preschool together, carpool together, and love playing together.

Moving On.........

I've been part of a large women's Bible study at our old church in Boulder for 3 years now. You all know how much I loved it (not). You're all aware of how I was told by my two small group leaders that I had anger management issues, and that is (their reasoning) why I was catching so many colds over the winter. What you may not know is that one of those leaders now leads the entire women's group, which has been hard for me. I'm not into listening to all her "pearls of wisdom" each Wednesday morning. I've built up a wall, I guess. I'd like to just show up late to the larger group to avoid her "teaching", but feel guilty taking Caitlin to the child care rooms an hour after class has begun. I've also been having an aversion to people using the words "lovely ladies" and "precious" in every other sentence. Thanks to only a few people, my time with this group wasn't precious. It was hard.

So, last year I spent many hours searching for other women's groups, or mom's groups, anywhere in a 10 mile radius of my house. The population gets bigger as you head south towards Denver, so I thought that a group wouldn't be hard to find. I was wrong. Days were wrong, hours were off, studies were extremely involved (I'm not there yet). I found a lot that met in the evenings, but with no childcare, I was out. Brian travels too much for that. I felt stuck. Not wanting to stay home alone all the time, I went back to my regular women's group, but wasn't a big fan of the larger group aspect - or the group leaders, for that matter. One is the former group leader mentioned above, the other is someone who acts so friendly in public, but no where else. It's so fake with her that even Brian's noticed (and he thinks it's rude). I was so undecided that I didn't make the decision to return until the day before the group began. But return I did. My desire to not be alone all the time once again won out. My small group was wonderful, but the larger group didn't thrill me as much. I was torn again this summer - do I return, do I not bother - until another option came up. Our new church! Last week I signed up for a women's Bible study. Gasp! You're all shocked, I know. She made a decision! Same day of the week, same time, new church. I don't know anyone, and that's fine right now.

I had pondered returning to CBC for the women's group all summer. We were attending RCC for three months. It had a Bible study coming up in fall, but when I was told how many hours per day it involved at home each week, I wasn't thrilled. Even with my few hours per week to myself, I'm still a stay-at-home mom with young kids. Also, it was on a day that I have preschool carpool duty, so that would always be a factor on how long I could stay. I decided, reluctantly, with some pain, that I would probably go back to CBC on Wednesday mornings. *sigh* But now I have another option. Once I signed up at FCC, I had a sad little thought of all the people that I knew that I'd be leaving behind. I sighed internally, and felt a little forlorn, even though I'm the one doing the leaving. But then I realized this - I'm not leaving behind any great friendships. Not even any budding friendships (if they haven't budded in the last few years, they're probably not going to). I'm only leaving behind acquaintances and familiarity. It's not like I saw any of these people over the summer. Of course, I never called, either.

In all reality, much of this is my fault. After opening myself up, being vulnerable, and then being harshly criticized, I shut down. I stopped letting people in. I complained a lot (mostly to myself, God and Brian, but still...). I regret staying with my first small group and not trying out something different. By doing this I think I just simmered in my mad juices for too long. And while I don't consider myself a quitter, I have come to a point in my life in which I will quit something I view as futile. If it has an end date, I will usually continue until that end, and then stop. But either way, I quit. In this case, I guess I should consider it "moving on" instead of quiting. In as much as I'm a fan of familiarity, there's nothing to be sad about here. I have no idea what this new group is like, and I'm not out to make fast friends this time(although I wouldn't push them away), and I'm okay with all of that. The study, at least, seems promising. It's fresh. It's new. If nothing else, it's something that's moving me in the right direction. "Moving on....."

Howler

My child is weird. In case you were unaware of that fact, here's the video to prove it:


She didn't know we were watching her until the end. It appears that she is a feral child. What does that say about us?