First Day of School

Today was the first day of school for both kids. Talk about a crazy morning! Brian woke up early and just couldn't go back to sleep. He left for work at 6:00 am, leaving me to get myself and two children up and ready for school in the morning. Now, I've done this before more times than I can remember, but it's been a few months. It was a little stressful. It wasn't until after I got home from Caitlin's school that I discovered my coffee cup - still 3/4 full. It's a rare occasion that I forget about my coffee. Anyway, although Brandon has been so excited about school starting up again, he was not happy about getting up early. Nor was he happy about the slightly cold temperature of the house (it was 69 inside), which lead to many a shed tear. Caitlin was completely conked out, and didn't wake up even when her door was left wide open. This girl usually wakes up when someone breathes anywhere near her room! Luckily for me, she's the easy one in the morning. She wakes up happy, which is good because I had to scramble this morning to get everyone up and ready on time! Brandon, on the other hand, wakes up moody, and is also my cuddly, snugly boy. I get him up earlier in the morning than most of his friends get up so that so he gets all the snuggle time he needs before getting ready for school. Caitlin likes her snuggle time and all, but she can deal with it if it has to end a little earlier than normal. Brandon can't.

After many tears, getting dressed, and breakfast, we headed out. It's chaotic at the school on the first day. In many cases, entire families come the school. Moms, dads, grandparents........ Maybe this is normal everywhere, but my kids haven't done school in other places, so I don't know. Although we'd talked with his teacher for a whole 20 seconds on Monday, I still couldn't find the art door or the chair with her name on it (signaling where the kids should line up). Other parents seemed to know where to go, so I followed them. Brandon couldn't see it, and was close to tears. "What if I can't find my teacher?" Using my super-mommy powers, I managed to quell the tears and get him calmed down. The scene at the school was noisy and crowded. Mommy can deal. Brandon can't.

Finally all the second graders walked into the school building at 7:55. We were free! Caitlin and I had half an hour, so we headed back home to grab her lunch and her "All About Me" poster before heading off to her school in Boulder. It was all calm and serene this time around. The preschoolers were all so happy to be in school. With only two classrooms, there was not the mob of children we had previously experienced. Caitlin was thrilled to see all her friends in the same place again. I managed to say my goodbyes and leave her without so much as a sniffle. Such a difference! First days of school are hard, but I have a feeling Caitlin won't be as worked up as Brandon is when she isn't completely in control.

Meet The Teacher

Let me first say this - whoever thought it would be a good idea for all 600 students at Brandon's school to meet their new teacher and bring in school supplies on Monday, from 2:00-2:30, should be shot. Half an hour? All the students? Maybe I'm just crazy for assuming that I should go, but go we did.

We decided not to drive. Although we only live half a mile from the school, all the road construction in our area this summer has made walking difficult. Sidewalks and walking paths have been closed for months, and there has been no bike lane, and there are cones and pillons all over the place - so this was a big decision. Caitlin assured me that she could ride her bike up the hills. She does at home and I've witnessed it, so I believed her. She lied. Other families also not driving managed to take up the entire sidewalk, making it hard to go past. Caitlin almost took out a couple of families! One entire side of the street was closed, crowding us all on to one sidewalk. Caitlin couldn't get on her bike fast enough to be with us when it was time to cross the street, so she'd end up not crossing when we crossed........ It was so much more of a nightmare than I could have imagined. I think riding bikes to school is not in my future. At least not my immediate future.

Even with all the chaos, I'm still glad we decided not to drive, as the school and all surrounding streets were inundated with cars. The school really only has enough parking for the teachers. Maybe they assume everyone will walk. It is Colorado, after all. There are only about 50 spaces available, which makes the days we need to drive to school (like, when it's snowing, or 10 degrees below zero) very difficult. We managed to crowd into the school and find Brandon's classroom. I had labeled almost everything (just like we had to in first grade), and yet most of it was put into big bins. I guess everyone will know what I bought. Brandon's classroom had a cozy, warm ambiance to it, which was nice. One other classroom felt this way, but the other two were stark. His teacher seemed very nice, and we got to see which classmates we already knew.

I am very much looking forward to school starting. The kids are starting to go stir-crazy, and are driving me crazy in the process. Brandon starts tomorrow at 7:55, and Caitlin starts at 8:30. I'm sure I'll be busy getting everything ready tonight. Tomorrow, at 8:45 am, it will all be worth it!

Yay! School!

School starts tomorrow! I'm not sure who is more excited - me or the kids. I'm so excited to have breathing room during the week, and the ability to work on some stuff for my new MOPS group. Brandon's happy to meet his new teacher today, and excited to start the school year learning and studying cycle again. But Caitlin woke up this morning just hoping desperately that it was the first day of school. She might be the most excited. Tomorrow, honey, tomorrow.

New Church?

Our search for a new church home and community is no secret here. It's been well documented in this blog. We left our church in Boulder after almost 3 years and set out this summer to find a new one. Although we like the pastor, worship, and in general think the people of CBC are friendly enough (at least with each other), we weren't connecting. I've done a small group, playgroups, get togethers, MOPS, Bible study, Sunday classes, and church, and still leave there without chatting about anything more substantial than the weather. After 3 years of striving to connect and feel like we are part of something, it's frankly just gotten old. We're suppose to want to be with God's people, aren't we? Seriously- we're not not looking for people to share our deep, dark secrets with. We just want to connect and have community. I feel like a piece of me is missing by not having this. We've tried a few churches, and didn't get excited about them. We settled on RCC, a small, local church in the hopes that the location of not only the church, but also the attendees, would be a good thing. We like the pastor. But we're now 3 months in, and nothing. No one even bothers to talk to us. It feels like we've crashed someone else's party. If I hadn't been tried to be part of 6-week women's Bible study this summer, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't know anyone's name. Honestly, for church of its size (100 to 150 people maybe?), that's unacceptable.

So, yesterday we tried a new church. Although we were going to re-evaluate our situation in the fall, something spurred us on this soon. Possibly the fact that it really looked interesting from the website, or not feeling at all connected at RCC after 3 months, or the false friendliness we encountered by someone from CBC that we see quite regularly? Is it because I'm at the three year mark in this area, and I tend to re-evaluate at three years? I tend to want to move, also, which is another post altogether. Whatever it was, it was enough to turn our hearts toward trying something new. And..........

We liked it.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We found a church online last week that looked promising. We headed 10 miles south this time, instead of the same distance north, and found the whole experience to be positive. The drive isn't bad (and you have to drive, drive, drive around here). The church is housed in a set of theatres - an older movie theatre complex in a strip mall. The sanctuary is a large theatre, with the kids stuff being housed in other, smaller theatres or some of the neighboring strip mall units. It's quite amazing what they've done with it all. Our old church in California met in the theatre of a high school, with the classes being scattered amongst the classrooms and other buildings. I felt oddly at home yesterday in the middle of the chaos, theatre-style seating and distance between the classes. I liked that fact that the church was large, with at least 300 people in the service - and we went to the second service. I liked the worship - it was wonderful! So much more to our liking and not painful or hard to sing along. Brian really liked the worship leader, which is always good, and we both liked the sermon. It left me thinking, not lacking. The kids seemed to enjoy their respective classes as well. Brandon's class had a "game room", which opens 20 minutes before class starts. I hope he doesn't like his class just because it had Mario Kart for the Wii and an enormous blow-up slide! (Both are in the game room, which is only open between services)

It's hard to gauge from one attendance how the future will look. The people seemed nice, casual, and had a wide age range. Although we're just looking for a place to attend right now, I also want to find a place where we fit in and a place to serve. I think it's important for me and important to model service for my children. I suffered from some serious service burn-out before after moving here, but feel like I'm recovering well and starting to put it all behind me.

We'll try it again next week and see what we think. We've tried a boat load of places, and haven't been this interested in returning to a place for a while. Well, really since we went to CBC three years ago. So, we'll see how it goes this time around. Brandon and Caitlin both showed more interest in their classes than they have in a long time, although Caitlin really missed her teacher at CBC (I had to convince her that she would be moving to a different class anyway this year). It could be the place we've been looking for.

On Scammers

I got my first "relay call" for a Craiglist item today. The relay service is when someone who has a hearing problem types their questions/responses to a relay operator, and that operator talks to the hearing person on the other end. I thought it was strange that he called, since anyone who is interested in my Craigslist items can just e-mail the advertisement. It was also a San Diego number - I'm in Colorado (could have been a cell phone. One never knows). The third red flag was the fact that he'd seen my "advert" on Craigslist. Advert? So I'm getting calls from a deaf British person who hasn't changed his cell phone to a local number? I mean, it is possible. I live near a university which educates students from all over the world. But, then again, no.

He was interested in my tricycle. It's a nice tricycle. Caitlin's had a great time with it for the last few years. But this guy was really interested in it. Very excited! After I gave him one of my e-mail addresses through the relay service, he send me a note. His hold on the English language was loose, at best. His e-mail was full of typos and didn't pluralize most words that needed it. For example, he lived "many state away". Hmmm..... On top of it all, he wanted to send me a cashier's check or money order and have me ship it to Massachusetts. To sweeted the deal, he'd add an extra $10, along with the shipping costs. Wow! $10. I don't sell things on Craigslist because I'm desperate for cash. I sell them because we no longer need them. The cash is nice, too.

I sold two other items on Craigslist today. Both were local moms looking for a good deal on a used toy. One had a local number, the other did not. Both set up times to stop by and pick up what I was selling. The one who e-mailed me didn't have typos in her e-mail, and seemed to have a good handle on the English language. No red flags there. This is my typical type of sale - to local who stops by to pick up the item, or I meet them in a public place. I know scammers are everywhere. You hear about them on the news or talk shows, and read about it online. I just can't figure out who would fall for one like this. Did he do a relay call so I wouldn't hear his voice? Why didn't he just e-mail me? Is he dumb? Obviously, I didn't ship the trike. I was polite in my refusal e-mail, and didn't respond further. He send me a couple more, begging me to send the trike again, but stopped after that. I'm still curious as to why he wanted to scam me using a tricycle ad? I guess scammers want my money. No from this girl. Sorry.

Overcast

Yesterday I complained silently to God that I was tired of being hot. I'm not ready for snow and ice, but ready for the high heat to subside. I was also missing foggy, overcast mornings. The sun in Colorado can be a bit much sometimes.

Today I woke up to a nice, cool, overcast mornings. Complete with sleeping children. Thank you, Lord. Thank you for reminding me that you're there, and that you do listen.

Full Summer Soon Ending

I just enrolled both kids in soccer this fall through the YMCA (Caitlin was a little miffed that we didn't enroll her last spring, so I remedied that!) And I accepted the Publicity Coordinator position in the MOPS group I'll be attending this fall If you don't see or hear from me until Christmas, this will be why! The fall is looking pretty busy for this stay-at-home mom type. Brandon will be in 2nd grade. Caitlin will be in Pre-K 3 mornings a week. Along with MOPS and Bible study, and all the other stuff I randomly do, I'll have most days full. It will be a good change from summer, where I am with kids all day, every day.

I'm craving the structure of the school year, although I can't say I'm looking forward to school starting in a mere 2 1/2 weeks! We've had a full summer. It's been a lot better than last summer, which was just weirder than weird. This year we were in California with one set of grandparents, Florida for vacation, VBS sports camp, preschool day camp, grandparents coming......all good things. But even with the ability to sleep in some days, the days I'm home are full days trying to keep the kids entertained. I've threatened to string the kids up by their toenails if I hear "Mom, I'm bored!" one more time (Brandon doesn't take me seriously, but Caitlin holds her toes now when she's not sure what to do). Soon it will be all over, and I'll be back to my 6:00 am mornings - wailing plaintively about how I miss summer. Such is the cycle of the year, I guess. Even Brandon told me recently that he misses school. Yay! Caitlin definitely misses her friends, although I'm not sure she misses learning. I'm glad the kids are looking forward to school starting, too. It'll make mid-August a lot easier to take.

Almost

I almost became a Coloradoan yesterday. Almost.

It happened as I was taking Caitlin to day camp, and Brandon to VBS soccer camp. We left at 8:15 in the morning. During the school year that's positively late for us, but it's pretty early in the morning these days. The road I drive to Caitlin's school cuts through a shopping center with a Target, Michael's, Whole Foods, etc., and the speed limit raises up to a normal speed as you pass Costco at the end of the center. I was tootling along past Costco, quite happy at my slow shopping center speed, when I noticed a few cars seemly piling up behind me. I'd already passed the raised speed limit, and could go 50 MPH, but instead was still meandering at 35 MPH. I quickly raised my speed, and happily continued the 5 or so miles to school. Even though we're on a country road (with a gorgeous view of the Rockies, I might add), you really can't pass other cars. I don't want to be that person slowing everyone down. It's frustrating to be stuck behind a slow driver - a scenario I know all too well!

I'm not sure what was going on with me. Maybe I was still in vacation mode. Maybe (more likely) I was tired. Either way, it was a shock to me that I was driving so slow. I'm not the speed demon I use to be, but I still take the speed limit as just that - the speed you can attain in good weather. Not merely a suggestion of how fast you could go if you really wanted to.

Today I was back to my normal self. Out there, gettin' frustrated, yet again, with the Colorado drivers who think that the numbers on the speed limit sign are waayyyy too high. Frustrated with the drivers who have no idea about fast and slow lanes. Frustrated and talking (in my car, mind you) to the other drivers that yellow does not mean stop. Wondering why so many large trucks drive through Boulder instead of taking I-25 through the state. And still frustrated that there is no efficient way to get through Boulder (it's been a couple of months since I had to drive through the town with a time limit to meet). I was almost gone, but I'm back now. Hello!

Anna Maria

Greetings from Anna Maria Island in Florida! On Saturday we trekked out to the airport and made our way from the middle of the country to a coastal section of the country. It's good to be by the beach again.

So far, so good. We are loving the beauty of Florida. The colors are lovely, especially the amazing variations in the water. Blues, whites, greens, teals - all surrounded by green flora and amazingly white sand. And the sand here..... it's as soft as powdered sugar! The shells and bits of ground up shells make it much more rough, but the sand itself is lovely! The gulf coast beach water is as warm as bath water. It's so completely different from the Pacific ocean. You actually want to be in the water here, and your feet don't slowly succumb to hypothermia.

We rented a little bungalow in Holmes Beach on Anna Maria Island. We are two blocks from the ocean one way, and I think it's 3 in the other direction. Our place has a pool in the back yard, which has officially transformed us into the best parents ever, according to the kids. They are having so much fun. It's much easier to watch them and swim with them in a private pool versus the public pools in our town (not to mention we don't have to deal with all the nasty chlorine). Not having the life jackets has also been good, as the kids' confidence and swimming abilities have improved. Brandon especially. Caitlin is our fish, but Brandon has taken to jumping off one end of the pool and swimming underwater as much as he can to to the other side of the pool. They just love having a pool. We've noticed that Caitlin gets all whiny when we take her away from the water, either the pool or the beach. We've also noticed she's exhausted at the end of the day and is asleep almost as soon as her head hits the pillow. Score!

Now that we've lived in Colorado, land of no moisture, for 3 years, my ability to handle humidity has gone waaayyyy downhill. The almost 70% humidity levels we're experiencing here make the mild 85 degree weather feel 7-10 degrees hotter. We notice that the heat rises as we leave the island, and we feel hotter and stickier away from the beach breezes. I've heard it's better for my skin, though, and I don't feel the need to slather on lotion all the time. Floridians must just get use to the weather eventually. I mean, my parents aren't nearly as bothered by the central valley heat as I am, so one can only conclude that you get use to weather you live in. Eventually. I'm glad we have A/C in our rental house. I'm not sure I'd last a whole week here without it. This might be the most humid place I've ever been. It feels the same in the water as it does out of the water. And it's can feel hard to take a deep breath at times, despite the higher amounts of oxygen here than what we're use to.

Brian is cooking a yummy dinner, so I'm going to sign off now and get to setting the table. I'm sure we'll either head out to the beach after dinner, or head back into the pool. I'll post pictures after we get home so you can share in the beautiful sights of Florida.

Knife Sharpening - Colorado Style

I meant to drop my knives off before I left for California. Really! I did! The last time I got them sharpened was in summer of 2007, and they've needed a resharpening for a while now! Unfortunately, the knife sharpening place at our local mall (complete with a staff sporting mohawks and *a lot* of piercings) closed in early 2008. Every other local place I've looked into (read - not Denver) requires leaving your knives with them for a week! Not over night. Not even two nights. But an entire week! I cook almost every day. Not having my knives for a week is a handicap. Hence, wanting to drop them off before I left for my parent's house.

Fast forward to the present time. Brian's gone all week, and I don't do much cooking when he's gone. I meant to drop the knives off in Boulder on Friday when I was there, and forgot yet again (!!!). Guess I'm not in the habit of carrying my knives with me when I head into town. I was talking to a neighbor about dropping my knives off a for a week, and how I couldn't remember, and he mentioned some guy out in Lafayette who sharpens knives. Although my neighbor hadn't used him, he came highly recommended. So yesterday I made the call. Today after Bible study I drove out to his farm.

Yes.... his farm.

He'd given me good directions, like "after turning on ______ road, just keep on driving until it ends, " and "after you get there, just wander around 'til you find me." After driving to what seemed like the middle of Colorado, I found him. Here, in this setting.........

Here was the view on the other side of all those luscious trees..

I wandered around until I found him out by one of the barns, repairing the engine on his riding mower. His wife was hacking at the weeds with what looked like a machete. Our expert jack of all trades sharpened most of the knives in his mobile sharpening van (which I found out he takes to the Boulder Farmer's Market on the weekends), while doing the serrated edged knives on a different piece of equipment in the barn.



I felt like I'd entered some sort of alternate, "Good Eats" universe. There I was, in the country, getting my knives expertly sharpened on different grinding stones, while my kids played on the farm. The trees overhead were old and lush, a rare gem anywhere in Colorado, but even more so on the plains. Clouds drifted by overhead, and in the distance one could still see snow on the higher Rocky Mountain peaks. I talked with the knife sharpener's wife while the kids chased dragonflies out by the pond and played in the trees. It's almost like I was leading someone else's life. To top it all off, all 7 of my knives were done in just over half an hour, and the cost was only $30. Can't beat that! Now even my straight edged knives will cut through a tomato with no problems at all. Maybe I'll broil some tomatoes with pesto sauce out on the grill tonight.

The downsides of heading out the farm for knife sharpening -- bugs and dirt. Caitlin got a bug bite on her face, and her cheek is swollen. The poor girl's a bug magnet - and a sensitive one at that. The kids are also quite filthy! They had a blast, but the amount of dirt they attracted in the short period of time we were there was massive. They had fun on the tractors and chasing the dragonflies. Good thing they're due for a bath tonight.

Positive Vibes

I saw this article in Sunday's Boulder Daily Camera:

Positive Vibes Sent to Gulf Shore Coast

"It began and ended with the ringing of a bell.

In between, 32 people -- mostly strangers -- linked hands on the shores of Boulder Reservoir and sent their most positive thoughts 1,400 miles to the southeast, where oil continued to wash up on beaches of the Gulf Coast....

"I was so inspired by people coming together with positive intentions focused on the water," said Katerina Seas, who helped organize the gathering via e-mail, Facebook, and word of mouth just 10 days ago. [...]"

Seriously? Positive Vibes? What does that mean, exactly? Acquaintances on Facebook ask for it. People I know who term themselves "spiritual" people (but are very secular) both send and receive these positive vibes. And now it's in the paper. So, what are "positive vibes" to these people? Is it the equivalent of prayer? Sound waves? Is their intentional thinking about the gulf coast going to solve the problem? Will the vibes travel from here to there and make the people and animals of the gulf happy? I've had very intentional thoughts about losing weight, but so far I haven't had any luck. Without God to move the mountains, they aren't moving, people!

I'm all for standing in solidarity with the affected communities. I have nothing against vigils or outpourings of support. But to think that this will help....? I can't imagine that send these vibes did any good whatsoever. A few people drove some distance to get to this gathering. Their money, I'm sure, could have been put to better use had they donated it to a gulf relief fund.

Good luck with your vibes. For the sake of the gulf, I do hope they work. Those people and animals could use some good luck. As for me, I'll continue to use prayer as my medium. I know it's being heard, and can be answered.

Checking Out

Dear King Soopers -
I don't normally write letters to stores. In fact, I've never written to a store (and it's not likely this letter will ever reach you). But seriously, King Soopers, you need another check-out alternative. The choices of having the cashier scan the items in your basket or using the self-check line are just not cutting it! It's been a few weeks since I shopped at your store. It's near my daughter's preschool and not near my house, so I shop there when school's in session. Today was a special preschool camp, so I headed over to your store with a happy heart this morning. I like your store. I like your produce. I like your natural and organic food aisles. I like your sales (was there too much emphasis there?). Unlike Safeway, which is nearby, it's your sales that are very heavily documented in all the couponing blogs in Colorado. So I shop at your store.

But I digress......this is a post about checking out.

With a happy heart I headed to your store today. At 8:30 in the morning. Not a heavy shopping time, based on my experience. But you wouldn't know that at your store. I shopped for a mere 15 minutes, and then spent the same amount of time at the check-out! Out of necessity, I used the self-check line. The only 2 cashiers in the front had lines of 3 or more people with full carts. No loss, as the cashiers are slow as molasses. Maybe slower. I've taken to mental head banging to pass the time. The self-check lines are only marginally faster. The machines are slow. There must be magical, specific ways to operate them which only fairies know, because I can't figure them out. I don't have this problem at other stores. But at your store, and only your store, the cashier overseeing the machines must come and assist me. Eventually. Mostly with words like "you can't scan it that way", and "why did you bring your own bags?"

I realize that this cashier situation is a state-wide problem. I've struggled with not screaming or tearing my hair out at grocery stores since I moved here (and I come from a state with 36 million more people!). I worked as a cashier for many years, and speed and accuracy were pounded into my skull early on. You had to be fast and accurate, or you didn't last. Not so here. Being quick is not required. At all. I have been late to pick up my daughter from school after being in line to check-out for 20 minutes with only one person in front of me (who did not, by the way, have an over flowing cart). My daughter's school is only 1 mile away. Being late never should have happened. I have left partially full carts and walked out because it was obvious that the 20 minutes I allotted myself for checking out was not enough. The invention of the wonderful self-check machine means that there are never enough cashiers at the stores that employ them. One local big box store near my house has 24 cash registers, with only 2 or 3 ever open during the weekdays. They sometimes get crazy, and open up to 6 (gasp! 6!) on the weekends. I'm not sure why they have so many. The main reason I make returns at another nationwide chain (besides things falling apart upon opening the package) is because I'm routinely charged twice for the same item. I don't shop there much anymore. Fast and accurate? Not longer necessary.

With a sad heart, I left your store. Yes, I will shop there again because your sales are good. But I will also visit other local stores. Stores that understand that while their customers must stand in line to pay for their items, they don't want that to be half of their time spent in their store.

Nothing for Lunch

Caitlin had her first day of day camp at her preschool today. This is the third time I've set my alarm for a weekday wake-up in 3 weeks! So nice. I packed her a sandwich and some Teddy Grahams. I had just enough left for a snack.

When I picked her up this afternoon, she gave me a funny look and said she didn't eat her lunch. And was quick to add that she didn't want to, either (she has to eat it at home if she doesn't eat it at school). She didn't like her sandwich, and she didn't like her Cheetos. Cheetos? I looked down at her lunch box, and noticed immediately that it wasn't hers. Even though it's the same kind, down to the smaller details, this one was more worn, and didn't have her name on. I opened it up to find food that wasn't from our house. A quick trip back inside the preschool got the right lunch box back, but all the lunch was gone. One of the teachers did think it was funny when the other girl got soooo excited about the Teddy Grahams! Stuff like that is often forbidden in lunches in Boulder. I'm only partially kidding.

On the way home Caitlin proceeded to tell me about her horrible wrong lunch, and how it had a salami and cheese sandwich on buttered bread. It must have been terribly disgusting for her, since she wrinkled up her nose the whole time she told me about it. The Cheetos must have been some sort of healthy alternative, since Caitlin has never once turned her nose up at Cheetos. Or any chip, for that matter. She's never snubbed the healthy alternatives, either, so who knows what those icky Cheetos were made of! The teachers were extremely sorry that this happened, so I'm sure she'll get her correct lunch tomorrow. Caitlin requested her favorite lunch of pickles, cheese and crackers, plus grapes, when we got home. All is well in Caitlin's world.

How Tired Am I?

After an early morning, two flights, and a 3 hour layover in LAX, I'm standing in the bathroom brushing my teeth. But instead of brushing my teeth, I'm waiting for the electric toothbrush to start up. It's never going to start up, being that it's in Colorado and I'm in California, and have a regular, manual toothbrush in my mouth. I've now realized it's not going to brush my teeth unless I move it. I've been up for over 18 hours, and I'm tired.

How tired am I? I forgot to push the "publish" button for a few days.

A Chilly Reception

Due to impending thunderstorms and our predicted 55 degrees and raining weekend, going to the outdoor swimming pool (our usual hangout) was out of the question today. I asked the kids what fun thing we should do on this chilly day (it's not even 65 degrees currently), and the vote was to head out to Chick-Fil-A for lunch. It was wildly crowded at CFA when we got there. More so than any day, even a Saturday, that I've seen. We did manage to get the last spot in the overflow parking lot, though!

Once inside, the kids went to the play area while I ordered. A few minutes later, they came back to tell me they'd secured a table, and also to tell me that one of my friends said hi to them. We do live in a very small town, so it's not unusual to see someone I know when I'm out and about. I scanned the area, but didn't see anyone I knew. A few minutes later I saw someone I use to know emerge from the play area. She was part of a MOPS group I use belonged to, but I haven't seen her for about a year. She was gathering up her kids to go, so I went over to say a quick "hi" before she left. I mean, she already knew I was there, so I didn't want to be rude! She was sweet, we talked for a few minutes about our growing kids (her littlest was only 6 months old last time I saw him). Her best friend, who had been the leader of our MOPS group, was there as well. Not to be rude, I also said "hi" to her friend.

Her response? Something akin to "Hurrumph!"

In her defense, she might have said "hi", or "hello". We were in a loud, crazy restaurant. However, it came out as if she was a crotchety old man in a sitcom who wasn't happy that the teenagers came home.

I should have been offended, I guess, but instead I was amused. I tried not to laugh out loud at her gruff response. Apparently I'm *not* her favorite person! It's funny, because she was exceptionally friendly and warm when I met her in early 2008. She made me feel welcomed when I visited her MOPS group. She asked me to be on steering and I accepted. That's when it all changed (cue up music from horror movies). We had our retreat and first meeting, and my opinion of her was never the same. She went from a warm and sweet woman to a rather blunt and tactless leader to our group. In unpublished posts, I described her as "rude and pushy". She was brusque and abrupt all the time. It got to the point that I could only handle in small doses. She was the reason I took my blog link off my Facebook page (when I got her friend request, which was a shock, I decided I really didn't want her to have that much access to how I feel). When Caitlin broke the car windshield with her head, thus making me late to our first steering meeting, she was mad at me for being late. Seriously? My daughter could have had a concussion, and she was angry I was late. A few months into it, I was mentally just done with that group. I wanted to quit early, and she was one the main reasons why. I had only committed for one year, so I did my one year and was out of there. I have never looked back, and I haven't missed it, either. I needed to leave for my own well-being. Honestly, I think I've just reached a point in my life where I'm unwilling to put up with people like her. With the exception of one person, the only reason I'm ever contacted by members of that group is for "purchasing events" (i.e. "Come to my Shaklee event - just to look at products! No presentation!" "Come to my Pampered Chef party!" "Come to my open house for the books I sell from home!" "Buy all your Christmas presents at our auction, bizarre!", "buy from me!", etc.) It was a long year, the year I was with that group of women. I call that my year of trying too hard.

I'm still laughing at her reaction. It did surprise me. I certainly don't hate the woman. She's usually very nice on a casual level. Her leadership skills, though, leave a lot to be desired. Although I had my own opinion about her and how she treated me, I'm not exactly sure what I did to her. Was I extremely transparent? Was she mad that I was late that one time? Maybe she was upset about my leaving her group? I'm not sure, but I won't be losing any sleep over it. Most of us can almost always be nice for short periods to someone we don't particularly like. We can smile, or say "hi". We can fake it. Guess she can't. What a chilly reception! In retrospect, my decision to leave that group was a good one. This whole area has a small-town feel, so I'm bound to run into to people from that group. And I'll still say hello and smile. But maybe I won't smile quite as big to her.

Play My Way!

I'm sitting in my front room, reading online about some local news in our town. I should be taking a shower, but the news is compelling so I haven't gotten that far yet. Brandon and Caitlin are painting rocks on the back porch. They're pretty happy. Our neighbor kid, Big J, came over about half an hour ago to play, which is fine with me. But he seems genuinely perplexed that Brandon and Caitlin are happily playing together, and don't want to do what he wants to do. I keep hearing "Hey, guys, I didn't come over here to play by myself. I came over to play {can't understand what he's saying here}."

As a person who is generally aggravated by loud people, I'm ready to send him home. But as mom, I'm holding my tongue, hoping they'll work it out. I'm curious about the outcome.

Brandon has made a few suggestions of what he wants to do, but his friend wants nothing to do with them. Instead, he wants to play in basement, which is already a disastrous mess from last night. Brandon and I spent a little less than an hour this morning cleaning up his Legos so he could use his train table for trains again. It was quite an undertaking, and it's no surprise to me that Brandon and Caitlin want to play with trains. But Big J destroys train tracks, and has destroyed all of Brandon's Lego creations. So I'm also not surprised Brandon doesn't want to play a game that involves trains and bombs.

Oh, the outcome has already played out. Big J has decided that he doesn't want to make rock bugs, play trains without bombs, or play the computer game (which is usually a huge hit). He's decided that he's leaving. Brandon's now very sad. I think his ego's hurt, so I should be a good mom and go comfort him.

Tuesday Evening Get Together

A month or two ago I though it would be a good idea to open our house over the summer on Tuesday evenings for our neighbors to come over. Nothing set, nothing formal, just bring your own meat/main course and something to share. We'll provide the house and the grill, so come when you can. It's not an original idea - some friends of ours back in California did this for a summer when Brandon was about a year and half. I can't remember if it had happened the previous year, or even happened the next summer, but I remember the summer we attended very well. Their house was uniquely set up for such a fun gathering. They had an L-shaped back yard with a pool at one end, and the rest of the back yard at the other. They had set pool times, and around 6:00 the pool was closed off, and everyone convened in the back yard for food. It was fun, and we went when we could.

Last night was the first night at our house.

It was fun. Two of my neighbors came over, along with another friend. In total we had 7 adults and 5 kids. We had our gas grill all fired up, and chairs everywhere. The kids were thrilled to have playmates over. Two other neighbors couldn't make it due to other commitments, but said that their families would be here next week. I'm sure we all ate too many chips, and my basement is a kid-game disaster, but it was worth it.

Community has been hard to come by in these here parts. I'm sure you're all tired of my rants, but it's been true. I met up with a friend of mine yesterday at our local pool, and she said the same thing. She's been here almost three years. We hardly ever get together because of her work schedule, but plan on doing more this summer while she's off. She was happy to gather up her family for a spur of the moment open grill night at my house. That's a nice feeling. Neither one of us has any great desire to hang out at home by ourselves, so this is a perfect way to combat that issue. Originally, I'd thought that opening up my house would be a fun way to get my neighbors together, but now I'm seeing it as an open house for other friends as well. I hope they can see this as a very informal way to hang out, eat, and share a fun time with others.

So, if you're reading this and you're in Colorado, feel free to come hang out next Tuesday evening at my place. The grill will be hot, the drinks will be cold, and the house is fairly childproof. See you here!

Our Other Bike Rider

Some other child in our house no longer uses training wheels.

Churches

We went to another church yesterday. We've actually been going every other week for a couple of months. Now that our commitment to our current church in Boulder is over, we aren't planning on heading back to that church over the summer. Possibly not even in the fall. This new church is small. It's so not our style that it's a little scary to me. But, our desire for community has taken over. We just hit our 3 year mark in Colorado, and still don't feel like we're part of anything.

It's interesting - the prospect of changing churches. It's not definite, but the chances are high. I don't want to run the risk again of staying at a place where I don't feel connected. Although I've tried, I feel like I've exhausted all avenues at our current church. We started going to our church in Boulder in July of 2007. We both liked the pastor and worship on Sundays. We were also excited about a couples/marrieds class on Sunday mornings, and I was excited about the prospect of MOPS and the women's Bible study group all being at the same church. I'd been sort of all over the map back in the bay area - doing a mom's group/Bible study in Menlo Park, a playgroup with women from and not from our church, and then going to our church. I was envious of the bond that some of the women in my mom's group had, and part of that was their shared experience of attending the same church, mom's group, and living in close proximity with each other. I wanted that for myself.

The problem, we've found, at our current church has been that we really just don't fit in anywhere. We haven't found our niche. The MOPS group at our church in Boulder was nice - I really liked it the first year - but I felt old. Much older than all but a few women in the group. Same with the couples/marrieds group. It was very much for young couples - "young" being the operative word. We'd been through so much of the "improving your marriage", "improving your parenting" before, and weren't all that interested in repeating it. I worked in childcare for a while, but I found that not only was I exhausted taking care of other children when I spent all my time taking care of my own, but that I was also getting sick ALL.THE.TIME. I'm not joking when I say that I had to stop for my own health! The women's Bible study had promise, but I had a bad experience with my very first small group that has tainted my experience with the group in general since then. Plus, one of the leaders of that first small group is now one of the leaders of the whole women's group. It doesn't make going to Wednesday morning Bible study all that much to look forward to. Our church draws from a more conservative crowd than we're use to. Most people with kids our age are younger than us. Sometimes by more than a decade. People our age have much older children and are in a completely different phase of life. Age and life stages shouldn't be a reason for being unable to find community. However, we're not finding relationships. I'm just not relating. We have very little in common with these other people. The fact that our church also draws from communities north and east of Boulder doesn't help. We live south of there, and the combination of miles, times, and my new personal schedule with school aged children isn't conducive to get togethers and outings.

So, we decided to make changes. After much searching, I found that I couldn't locate any mom's groups (for moms with kids of all ages), so I started attending a different MOPS group in Boulder. I knew a couple of women from Brandon's school who went there. Lo and behold, many of the women there live near me, too (only a few people in my previous MOPS group lived within 10 miles of me). I don't live on the cusp of society, so to speak, for the population of this group. We started attending a small, local church about 5 miles away. So far it seems fine. The people are mildly friendly, and have even invited us to a few church/family events. We continued to attend our church in Boulder until our LifeGroup went on hiatus, which was a week ago. I like our LifeGroup, but don't feel like I'm a "part" of it (how's that for vague?). There's too much whispering going on between the other women, and while I'm there, I'm not really included by the women of the group. Although Brian doesn't feel excluded in our LifeGroup, we're both looking at this hiatus as an opportunity to find community elsewhere. We've decided to stay at this church through the summer and see where we land in the fall.

It's interesting and scary all at the same time. Our family life is stable, and we've forged a few friendships in our neighborhood and through Brandon's school. But the Christian community I crave isn't there. It hasn't been there, and I miss it. As a stay-at-home mom, I run the risk of being home by myself unless I make a point of getting out. That gets lonely. Most of the people at this new church live near us. Brandon has already commented that some of the same kids from school are at church. I like the prospect that we could actually live near church friends.

That's where we've landed. We'll see how it goes. We're jumping in right away. I hope the splash is big!

Mild Spring Fever

Spring has officially arrived in Colorado. How do I know? For one, it's green outside. Some trees have leaves ... some don't... but the barren brown-ness that is Colorado in winter has given way to signs of life. The hills are a light green and ground cover is growing back. The Rockies have a nice tinge of different greens and browns now, instead of just the green of the evergreens in winter. The snow we get is light, only an inch at a time, and melts completely within a few hours of the sun coming up. My body and soul feel a bit more free in spring. The darkness and heaviness of winter has gone, and we all feel lighter. Of course, not having to covering up with a coat does help! It's also very windy. According to most Coloradoans that I know, it feels like Wyoming right now. No one is happy about that! Yesterday a 70+ MPH gust of wind slammed me against the car as I walked around to make sure Caitlin was buckled in. Didn't feel good. I can't wait for the winds here to die down. It's just generally miserable. At least it's warm, though. Those same winds in winter are brutal.

In the afternoons our street is filled with the sounds of children playing. I hear them going up and down the street on bikes, or running on the sidewalks. Brandon is never happy that he has to read at that time, but it does motivate him to get it done so he can have some playtime outside. I'm happy we are on a street with families again. It's not the same as what we left, but it's getting better. The small-town nature of it all gets to me, but I'm hoping this summer will be better that the last. Trying to avoid the gossip mill here takes work! I was also hoping to do VBS with the kids, but it seems that every church that is hosting VBS is doing it during the same two weeks - June 14th or June 21s - and we're gone those weeks. I wish I could find one that's a bit later in the summer, but that doesn't go along with Colorado's problem of doing everything to early. Luckily our summer has a couple of breaks from our home life, with a trip in June and vacation in July. I'm hoping the kids will love playing with their friends, and won't miss VBS.

Brandon asked me today how many weeks of school were left. Three weeks and one day! It seems so soon. I'm looking forward to this school year being over (as I always am about this time of year), and so is he. Caitlin isn't looking forward to preschool ending, but I think she'll be happy over summer. She'll just miss the fun of hanging with her preschool peeps. Is this spring fever that we all have? Looking forward to summer? If it is, I'm all for it.

And Now, a Song and Dance Number........

Caitlin has a very hard time not being the center of attention, as evidenced by this lovely dance number she did for everyone at Brandon's last soccer game. Unfortunately, I can't show you the first few she did at home, since she's only in her undies and there is some nudity involved. I'll keep those to torture her with later. So enjoy this public display.... wind and all....

What We've Been Up To

Finally!!!! She has a bike! She is excited!!!




Caitlin would personally like to thank those of you who have given her Target gift cards for Christmases and birthdays. She is now the proud owner of a princess bike (she's not really into the princesses, though, she's just into pink). Her friend down the street also got a new bike, so now there are two four-year-old girls riding slowing around, getting helped their brothers and friends. I guess it helps to have other experienced bike riders on the street.

Updates

I would like to blog more often. Blog updates float around in my head constantly, but rarely get put down. Life is busier than it use to be, but more than that, every time I sit down when the kids are home, they know. They know I'm trying to blog. Brandon comes over and wants to talk or wants me to read to him. Caitlin wants to look at family pictures, or look up instructional video on youtube about how to play the bagpipes (don't ask). No matter where they are in the house or what they're doing, the minute I sit down they are all over me. It's like they sense the possibility that I might want to relax!

So... on to P4 updates. What have we been up to lately?

In late March, Brian and the kids went out to California for a few days. I stayed behind. We've done this once before, and it was wonderful! The weather was much more cooperative this time than it was last time, and hardly snowed! It was cold, but not horrible. I tried to set up some lunches or dinners with a few friends and acquaintances, but only one person was available. We had a nice time. I wish I was making more headway in that area, but it isn't happening. It's all in God's hand, so I'm trying not to question His timing.

Brandon has started soccer. Although he isn't all that great at the game, he tries very hard and seems to enjoy it. He runs, passes, kicks, and plays goalie. He's always so exuberant after the games, going over all the little things he did, and how he was sure his team won (they don't keep score). We got him little shin pads, little cleats, and a little soccer ball (and they are all so small!). We have practice on Thursday evenings, and games on Saturday. From what we are seeing, this won't be Brandon's last soccer season!

Plans for vacation with Brian's family fell through, so we made plans our own. We're heading off to Florida in a few months. I've never been, so it should be fun. We rented a little bungalow on an island not too far from Tampa. It has it's own pool, and is also close to the beach. This is our first family-only vacation since we went to Hawaii in 2005. We did spend a few days in Santa Fe a couple of years ago, but it was short and was more of a get-away than a vacation. I'm really looking forward to Florida. I love getting away! The kids are excited, too, but that died down a little when they realized how far out it was! We have to finish school first, then are heading out to my parents house for a week, and then after that we go to Florida. We shouldn't tell them things too far in advance. Caitlin asked me everyday for a month about going to Nana and Grandpa's house in late March. I'm not sure why I thought this would be different.

Spring has made a small appearance in Colorado. We've had a couple of weeks in the 60's, and even a couple days around 70! There's no snow on the ground. Trees are starting to bud, a few flowers are blooming, and the grass is starting to green up. Pollens are unusually high, so Caitlin and I are sneezing a lot, and have gone through many, many boxes of Kleenex. Now if only the crazy wind would stop, it would be great! The kids are outside almost every day, too. In the last year, 8 kids have moved on to our street, and 6 of them are under the age of 10. It's been a mixed blessing with some neighbors, but the others have been wonderful. After our first 18 months on our street, we are finally not the only ones with little kids! All but one of the kids are boys, but the one girl on the street is Caitlin's age, and they get along well. God is good. I'm thinking we should start having weekly BBQ's at our house, open to all, to get to know the neighbors better.

We signed Caitlin up for pre-k next year at her preschool. We're doing 3 days per week instead of 2. She enjoys school very much. I'm not sure if she wants to be a big girl, or just loves learning, but she insists on doing "homework" when Brandon does his homework, and often sits next to me and listens when Brandon does his daily reading. She plays teacher and pretends to read to us like her preschool teachers read to her. She holds the books out so we can all see the pictures. Her stories are pretty amusing, too, since she makes up a story about whatever it is she sees on the page. Her last story went something like this: "There were a lot of cows. And a dog. And a duck found a crayon." Then on to the next page. "The pics went to sleep" (the pigs were really getting bubble baths).

All in all, life is going smoothly here in Colorado. Brian and I are exploring a few options for community around here. Things in that arena have faltered, but we are moving on. The kids are doing well, and except for my ailments, the family is in good health. I'm looking forward to summer. Only 7 more weeks of school. Yeah! I love that we get out before the end of May. I'm just sad that all the VBS's in our area must happen the weeks of June 14 and June 21st. I don't think we'll hit any of those. Oh well. We'll survive. We always do.

Folliculitis

Folliculitis.

Never heard of it? Well, neither had I. Until Thursday.

Two weeks ago, when Brian and the kids were gone, I was out shopping. It was great to have some time to myself! While in a dressing room, I noticed that the back of my arms were bumpy. Like I'd just gotten the chills, but yet I hadn't. The bumps didn't hurt, so I just assumed that they were from dry skin. Colorado is so dry that if you don't coat your entire body with lotion, you end up with dry skin in the most bizarre of places. I get dry ankles and shoulders. Weird. Later on that day, I noticed that I had the same bumps - skin colored, but raised up - all over my lower legs. That was certainly odd. I mean, no one looks good under the florescent lighting of dressing rooms, but this was ridiculous!

A couple days later I started itching. A lot. It was the bumps, and they had started to spread from my calves to my thighs. I bought some anti-itch cream and Benedryl, and started to question everything in my house that I was using. All my lotions and detergents were tried and true. In fact, I hadn't used any new products in a while! I was at a loss. It got to the point that I wondered if my new sheets were to blame. I'd washed them before using them, but it was the only thing I could pinpoint that was new.

A couple days after that, the bumps were red, inflamed, and itched to the point of madness! I was on so much Benedryl that I wanted to nap all the time. On top of it all, I'd been sick for over a month (catching cold after cold after cold), and now had a sinus infection. So off to the doctor I went. Congestion, bumps and all. The diagnosis? Folliculitis.

Folliculitis is a bacterial infection of the hair follicles. It causes the follicles to swell up, turn red and itch, and sometimes blister and crust over. Lovely. It can start off with something as benign as shaving with a blunt razor, or being in a hot tub. Mine is what's called superficial follicultis, and was likely caused by being in a hot tub (which I was over the spring break), or from being sick and having extra amounts of staphylococcus bacteria on my skin. Not only does it itch, but heat makes it worse. Having a laptop on my lap is excruciating, and makes my skin crawl. Being out in the sunshine makes my skin crawl. It's starting to get warm here, and the intense sun isn't helping! I'm on a two-week course of antibiotics for the folliculitis, and for the sinus infection. It seems to be working. The rash is slowly getting less and less (and no longer spreading), and the sinus are acting more normal. I'm suppose to wear loose clothing for a week, and not shave. I'm in my sweats a lot lately, since it's still too cold to wear a skirt - even a long one that covers my unshaven legs.

I'm ready for this to end at any time. There are many things to be grateful for. This rash isn't on my face, like the last one. My antibiotic round is only two weeks this time, instead of six. I'm glad it's not yet summer. I can still wear long pants without overheating, but the urge to scratch is driving me crazy. Besides taking the antibiotic and some steroids, I'm on copious amounts of Benedryl at night, and am putting on anti-itch cream like lotion. I'm sleeping great, but feel hung-over in the morning. Two cups of coffee isn't making a dent in waking me up, and I don't do more than that. I am seeing relief, but I wish it would come faster. Every time I'm touched, hugged, take a shower, or the wind blows, my skin gets irritated. I'm waiting for the day to come when having my kids on my lap doesn't start a full-blown scratch-fest. It can't come soon enough!

Finding Our Niche

On Easter Sunday many families from our church had Easter brunch at another family's house after service. Normally I wouldn't think anything of this, but this particular Sunday Brian and I were wondering if we were going to have our normally scheduled LifeGroup (small group) meeting. There had been talk about changing the Sunday nights from the 1st and 3rd of April to the 2nd and 4th, mostly to accommodate the church's women's retreat and, oh, possibly also Easter, but nothing had ever been set. No one had said anything at all about the group dates being changed. But the Facebook photos showed it all to me. The fact that three out of the five families that attend our LifeGroup were attending dinner elsewhere pretty much confirmed things in my head.

I'm not bothered about not being invited to this massive group Easter gathering. There's no sarcasm here - I'm really not. Although I like the host family, we aren't all that close with them or most of the other families invited. What has been bothering me, and more often than just this weekend, is the fact that we haven't been able to "find our niche". Brian said that the other evening, and it really sums up how I've been feeling about our current situation. I haven't been able to convey how I feel in a concise, clear way that others would understand, but that phrase really fits. We desire to have friends. More than that, we desire to have Christian friends and be part of a Christian community. We've lived in Colorado for almost 3 years and, on almost all levels, I still feel like an outsider looking in. When I look within the groups I'm involved in I don't see a place for me. Or a place for us. The sad thing is when I look at those groups, and the individuals that make up the group, I don't feel like I even want to belong. I've wanted to be part of groups of people before, and become friends with the individuals involved, but I don't have that feeling at all right now. It's strange. It's isolating. It's not how I normally feel.

We like our church. We've been at CBC almost 3 years (in July), and like the pastor and worship leader quite a bit. Sundays are nice. We go, and we have a good time. The kids seem to like their classes. But that's about where it ends. With the exception of small group meetings, there is nothing mid-week for families or kids, so our church existence is really a Sunday to Sunday thing. I attend a women's Bible study mid-week, but I'm not excited about it. The first year was not such a great experience for me, and sometimes I think I'm there just so I won't be home alone every day of the week. I use to attend the MOPS group there, but I got tired of being one of the oldest participants (by far), and living so far away from everyone else. We live on the fringes. Although there were a few other moms in the group who around my age, the rest of my table group was about 12-16 years younger than me. The average age of moms in this MOPS group is around 32, with a couple of kids around 6 and under. I know I should be able to get past this, but we have nothing in common except being mothers. I need more. The first year of MOPS was great and I really liked it. Wished it was every week. The second year was okay. I got through it. The third year - well, I stuck it out until the semester Christmas break. I haven't gone in 2010. This is so very much not like me. I'm responsible. I stick it out until the end. But in this situation, I just can't see the point anymore. It feels futile. I've been attending another one on a different day in Boulder, which has been helpful, but I've only been there a short while.

Brian and I have attended a local LifeGroup from CBC since September of 2008. For the 2009-2010 year the leaders changed our group from meeting weekly to meeting only twice per month. We must have missed that meeting, and we've never known why the change was made. However, meeting infrequently has made us realize how much we, and our family, need something more. Meeting every other week has really changed the dynamics of the group. It doesn't feel like a community. The families involved all seem so busy, sometimes to the point of exhaustion, that there's no place for us. We are deliberate in our attempts to keep our family from being busy all the time while still enjoying activities, thus leaving space for others. I'm afraid, however, we're the only ones who value this. I'm also getting very tired of the female dynamics of the group. The other women spend a lot time whispering in the kitchen, and then are quiet when I come in. It's not about me, mind you, but it does mean I'm not involved, and this lack of inclusion makes me feel unwanted. I've tried to make plans and get together with these moms at other times, but there's no interest there. Nothing says "let be friends" like constantly being brushed off. When you then see those same people having get togethers and making play dates with others, especially those who live far away, you know you were never in the running for a viable friendship. Acquaintance-ship is where I live my life most of the time. It's a little lonely, but at this point, I'm tired of trying. Although I liked most of this group, I'm starting to feel like our group meetings have been a waste of Sunday evenings for the last year and a half. All it really did was give us something to do.

We've been trying a few other churches. It seems like only a few months ago that we were doing this, so I didn't think I'd be searching out churches again so soon. We tried a church nearby, RCC, and have decided to try it out for a while. It's very small and so not our style that I'm surprised we decided to stay. We've agreed to go every other week - on the weeks our small group doesn't meet - and then go during the summer when our small group is on hiatus. We'll re-evaluate the situation in the fall. The pluses are that it's very local, only a few miles away, and draws heavily from our town. In fact, the pastor only lives one street away. CBC draws mostly from small, conservative towns 15-20 miles north east of its location, which is already 12 miles north east of where we live. RCC doesn't come off as ultra-conservative, like our current church, and the people are not nearly as young. Most of the people we meet at CBC that are in our life stage are about 10 years younger than us. They're very conservative. We're not connecting. The other plus about RCC is that the kids really like it. They know some of the kids and Brandon even sees some of them at school. He doesn't talk about kids/friends at CBC.

I feel like a broken record, always complaining about my "horrible" situation. It's not as if we lead some sad life here. We're doing quite well. The kids are good. They're happy and healthy. Brian seems fine. But this area of my life weighs heavily on my mind. It's as if a piece of me is missing. We've been here almost 3 years, and I just hoped we'd be further along in the process of community. Instead, we have realized how much we don't have charm and charisma, and don't appeal to the majority of the people we've encountered. I need to figure out how to relate to Colorado. I *have* to learn to become friends with the natives. If we moved tomorrow, I don't think anyone would miss us (maybe Big J, but really, no one else). We would have been a little blip on the radar screen of our little town in Colorado. I keep hoping God will provide answers or an out, although I don't exactly know what that entails.

I really want to enjoy my life here. I want to look forward to Bible studies and small groups. I wish I could find a women's/mom's group that I like. I miss going to the Mothers Together in Menlo Park. The drive there was awful, but I remember the feeling of relief - the sigh of "I'm finally here, yay!" - when I'd get there and sit down at my table. I only stopped going because our church started a women's bible study. If we'd stayed in CA, I probably would have gone back to Mothers Together after Caitlin was a little older and mornings became a little easier. I remember liking small groups before kids. I liked our church's family night on Tuesdays when we lived in California. All of my meaningful groups can't be exclusive to California! I've been hoping that writing about it may help me to process it all, but I'm not so sure. It use to help, but nowadays I always come off sounding a little depressed. I'm looking forward to summer - two different weeks away from Colorado, no CBC, and new options. I don't know if I'll return to my women's bible study in the fall. I've looked before for other options, but had no luck. Again, I don't want to be home by myself all the time. At the same time, I want to be vulnerable without being trampled on, and I can't view the group anymore without that in the forefront of my brain. I want Brian to have friends. I want my kids to look forward to church, and for God to be visible in our lives. Who knew I'd feel so unconnected and isolated in the middle of a group. Let's hope the we find a niche fairly soon!

Pronation Update

Some of you have asked if my wildly expensive custom orthotics that I got back in late November have helped me with my ankle/foot/knee/leg/hip pain. The answer is yes. I am happy to report that the strange little plastic things that I now walk on have made great improvements in my well being. Although the pain is not 100% gone, the little bit that is left is not as intense as it use to be, and doesn't last as long.

The orthotics were suppose to help keep my ankles and knees aligned, straight, and prevent the ankles from rolling inward (or outward, I can't remember) every time I take a step. I am suppose to wear them at all times, morning until night, except when sleeping. Seriously - my podiatrist told me to wear them in my slippers and keep my slippers right by my bed, or right by the shower, so that I can put my feet in them as soon as I get up. And, for the most part, that 's what I do. The plantar fasciitis problems are all but gone, my knees rarely hurt, and things like standing upright are not debilitatingly painful. I no longer grimace when I'm walking. People use to constantly ask me if I was alright when I was grocery shopping because I always looked like I was in pain!

I also think I've figured out what caused the problems..... my house. More specifically, the hardwood floors - the entire downstairs -of our house. I'm not a fan of wearing shoes in the house, so I would kick them off in favor of slipper or bare feet. This became a necessity during the summer of 2008 when I had hurt both feet. They were so swollen that wearing shoes was rather painful, and I took them off as soon as I got home. The pain started not long after that. It seemed so sudden to me. Both feet, in pain, all the time. After researching the topic of what may have caused this sudden onset pain, I found many articles and posts regarding people having problems after moving into a house with tiled or hardwood floors. They went from normal to massive pain and problems in anywhere from a few months to a year. Same with me! We hadn't even been in our house a full year when I started having issues. And I went from no pain to huge amounts of pain. Granted, my body was prone to this in the first place, but I think that having the hardwood floors exacerbated my issues and brought the problem to a whole new level. I've always had wall-to-wall carpeting before. I did have issues with plantar fasciitis in one foot during my pregnancy with Brandon, and now wonder if some of that was caused by the hard tile floors of our kitchen and bathrooms. I also had sciatica in the same leg, which I haven't had since, so I'm sure some of it was caused just by being pregnant.

Now, I have to wear shoes or slippers at all times in the house. I'm not a fan, but I keep telling myself that it helps. I'm also not a fan of what you can track into a house when you wear shoes in it all time time. The dirt itself is icky, but the chemicals and other elements that you bring in with you are so much worse. We don't have any crawling babies anymore, but still. Eww! It will be interesting this summer when it's hot. So much of my body temperature is regulated simply by whether or not my feet are covered, that I don't cover them in summer. I wear sandals or go barefoot in order to stay cool. I'm not excited about having to encase my feet in shoes when it's hot outside. Sandals that work with my orthotics have not been easy to find. However, I have another friend with a similar problem (and similar orthotics), so we're keeping each other updated on good shoe finds. Shoe shopping is a drag these days. I'll sometimes try on 30 pairs of shoes, and none work. The ones that do usually work are expensive, too.

In short, though, the orthotics are working. I have started walking again. I wanted to today, but he 60 MPH winds, along with the 10 degree wind chill factor, are preventing that! I need to work off the weight I've put on in the last year or so (probably from sitting around because I was in pain). I think I'll just ride the exercise bike today, and save the walking for a day that I won't get blown away!

Back to the Pocket

I was amused by today's quote on my little "Church Sayings" daily calendar (which I did *not* buy, lest you should think differently of me!):

"The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back into your pocket."

Hmmm.... that makes quite an interesting statement about tithing, doesn't it?

Tooth #2

Brandon's second tooth came out today. This was the first loose tooth, but the second on to actually be loose enough to come out. Hitting his jaw on the deck while playing outside today probably helped it along. I'd like to say he has a nice gap in his mouth, but the fact the other two adult teeth are already growing in make that a moot point.

Snowman

Brandon finally got his wish - a snowfall wet enough to build a snowman.

We got 12 inches of very wet snow last night. Most of it fell between the hours of 3:30 to 11:00 pm. Before that we had two hours of rain, so shoveling the driveway and sidewalk this morning was back-breaking. I've never seen this much water underneath the snow. The intense Colorado sun is already turning much of the snow to slush. Imagine shoveling 12 inches of slushy. Not fun.

The power went off a few times last night. I'm not sure why, since most of our power cables are underground here. Maybe they had to break the circuits to help Denver? Their snowfall was not as wet or as much, but their power lines are mostly above ground down there. Caitlin was not a happy camper about the power going out. I was unprepared for the waterworks, so all our candles are still out on the coffee table. I couldn't risk not having them *right there* should we have another horrific 5 minute outage. Amazing enough, the satellite dish did not go out. Maybe that recent visit Directv made out here made a difference? One can only hope. When you're trapped inside your house, not having TV is a sad, sad thing!

Losing It

It finally happened. After his grand announcement on February 6th that his gums were loose around his tooth, Brandon lost his first tooth last night. The tooth was practically sticking straight out of his gums (instead of pointing upwards), but yet it wouldn't come out. After much pulling and prying, we asked if he wanted to try tying it with dental floss. He did, so I managed to yank it out. Brandon wasn't very happy with me during the yanking, but got over it quickly when the tooth actually came out.

The funny thing is, it's not the first tooth that was loose. That one is still in. His second tooth came out. The first one is pretty loose, though, so it might come out in a few days. I guess I'll need to wait until he tells me he's ready.

After pulling his tooth, we put it in his tooth fairy pillow that his Nana made for him. He put it under his pillow, and the tooth fairy brought him a coveted gold coin that he so wanted.

Caitlin desperately wanted in on the action. She keep testing her teeth to see if they're loose. Judging by how long it took for her first tooth to come in, she'll be around 12 before she loses a tooth.

Look Ma, No Training Wheels!

We got Brandon a bike for his fifth birthday. Seems like ages ago. He really wanted it, and was ready for it. Several factors lined up against him and his bike riding - he wasn't steady, winters here are cold, cold, cold, we lived on a hill, and there was no one around to ride with.

Enter our neighbor, who graciously offered to help Brandon learn how to ride a bike without training wheels. He's into bikes, and has taught many kids to ride bikes. So today, the first nice day of the year (and I'm not kidding), we headed to the basketball court/parking lot just down the road from our house. Talk about ready! Brandon needed help at first, but within the hour was riding fairly well on his own. He still has a lot to learn (like looking where you're riding, and getting on without help), but I was impressed with how fast he steadied himself and rode around the lot. We should have done this sooner. Of course, it's been freezing cold, windy, snowy, etc. He wants to ride again tomorrow. We may head down before soccer practice. And before the next snowstorm blows in on Friday!

The first video was taken around 3:20 this afternoon. The second video was taken around 4:15.

It's March - So I Must be Sick

March is one of those weird months in which the temperatures rise up and fall down. This is the month where I'm tired of the snow and tired of being cold. I think it's because March seems to herald the arrival of spring in California. Even though it will be a couple of months before anything besides the tulips grow, I'm still a California girl and I still want things green instead of brown. I'm sure we'll get a few more snowstorms between now and the end of April, but I can hope, can't I?

March is also the month that I get sick. I know that fluxuating temperatures don't help, but otherwise I have no idea why March is so wonderful for incubating illness. Last week I woke up with a sore throat and had a headache. It got progressively worse, into a nice head-cold. I had to bring treats for Bible Study on Wednesday; otherwise I probably wouldn't have gone. On Thursday we had a soccer meeting in Boulder. Brian was gone on business most of the week, but got home Wednesday night and worked from home Thursday afternoon. We were talking about dinner plans, and my right eye started watering. Then it got all gunky. Then it turned bright red. All in about 5 minutes. I took out my contacts, put on my glasses, and went to dinner and the soccer meeting. By the time we got home my eye was swollen and bright red. My guess was pink-eye, but I never got it diagnosed. Instead, I pulled Caitlin's pink-eye eye drops from the cupboard and started using them. Friday my eye was no longer red, gunky or watery, but was still incredibly swollen. More eye drops and glasses. It's now Tuesday and I'm still in glasses, although I'm attempting contact lenses today. I looked up pink-eye on the internet, and I guess you can get it just from being sick. Makes sense, although it's never happened to me before. I've always caught it from someone else. I can't wait to be done with the eye drops. They irritate the skin around my eyes. And the laundry. Between both kids having eye issues last month, and mine this month, I've done more towels and linens in one month that any one person should have to do in three!

I can do without the coughing, sneezing, throbbing headaches and runny nose, too. It's getting old. Medications like Advil and psuedophedrine help, but only for a short time. I don't remember when I started buying Kleenex in bulk at places like Costco, but I can no longer imagine not having a few boxes stored in the garage for times like this. It's just so constant, too. All I want to do is collapse on the couch. Yesterday I was so lightheaded around lunch time that I wondered if I should have been using a knife! I haven't spent much time in public because I don't want to infect anyone. Today I need to do some grocery shopping. At least all the stores have the Lysol wipes for the carts. Usually people use them to wipe carts off before shopping in order to keep themselves healthy. I'll do that, and wipe it down after using it so the next person can remain healthy!

I'd like to be well by then end of this week. Next week is spring break, and I'll be with the kids by myself most of the time. Brian's been traveling, but has (luckily for me) been home for almost a week before he heads out again tomorrow. I want to do some fun things with the kids, providing the weather's good, and I don't want to have to take eye drops and boxes of Kleenex with me.

Brandon's Musings

Yesterday, on the way to church, Caitlin was talking about things you can't eat. You can't eat cars. You can't eat our house. You can't eat the earth.

From the back seat we also hear this in a small, almost under-his-breath voice: 
"Yeah, 'cause if you eat the earth you'd be very

very

very

very

very

fat!"

Why You Should Always Check Your Child's Homework

The homework picture turned into class for the "What I Want to Be When I Grow Up" assignment:

The follow-up letter the teacher received the next day:

Dear Mrs. Jones,


I wish to clarify that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an exotic dancer.


I work at Home Depot and I told my daughter how hectic it was last week before the blizzard hit. I told her we sold out every single shovel we had, and then I found one more in the back room, and that several people were fighting over who would get it. Her picture doesn't show me dancing around a pole. It's supposed to depict me selling the last snow shovel we had at Home Depot.


From now on I will remember to check her homework more thoroughly before she turns it in.


Sincerely,
Mrs. Smith

I Didn't Invite You Over

Brandon's best buddy is J, another 6 year old who lives on our street. They get along well and are in the same class at school. J's family moved on to our street in May of 2009. At their previous house here in the same town, J was friends with another 6 year old boy who we'll call N. He's a nice kid. Kind of whiny, but otherwise fairly nice. Brandon, J and N are all in the First Grade, all go to the same school, and play together at recess (from what I've heard).

Lately, N is over at J's house all the time.

Usually I couldn't care less what play dates other kids have. Really - it's none of my business. But this is different. Since just before Christmas, our normal routine has been J's dad picking up the boys from school most days. It's so nice. I love it. Although Caitlin doesn't nap anymore, she still needs an hour or so of downtime. Not having to go to the school makes all that possible. All in all, it just makes my day so much smoother. The boys will play on the playground for half-an-hour or so, if it's nice outside, and then they walk home. Brandon is usually pretty hungry when he gets home, and has a snack and watches a video. Then we read. Afterwards he can play inside or outside until dinner time.

On the days that N comes over to J's house, the routine is harder to manage. The boys play at school, and walk home. J and N go to J's place, and Brandon comes home. Usually Brandon tells me whether or not N walked home with them. Our routine starts - but we can't get more than 10 minutes into it when J and N are at our door! Not only do they want to play with Brandon, but they want to come inside and play with all his toys. I've kind of had it.

Here's my dilemma - I didn't invite N over - J's dad did. Why, then, do I become the responsible adult? What do I do? I can see this going on forever (seriously, this has been happening since summer, with a small reprieve only during vacations when we're gone, or during winter storms). Do I tell N and J that they can't come over? It seems useless. J comes over all the time. He roams the neighborhood when he can't come to my place. I see him outside the windows. Telling J's dad that the boys can't come over does no good. He'd be receptive to the idea. He'd even agree with me. And, after a week or so of things improving, it would all go back to what it use to be. He doesn't watch his own child, much less his child's friend. Whenever N comes over to J's house, he comes to my house. Every time. Sometimes as early as 10 minutes after getting home, sometimes up to half an hour later. When N comes over he loves to head straight up to Brandon's room and play with Legos, and Lincoln Logs, and Hot Wheels - any toy that has 50,000 pieces. And he loves to leave all those pieces all over the place for me and Brandon to clean up. I'm tired of it. J and N are both very loud, which irritates my senses. Brandon can get that way, too, but he's not as obnoxious as the others. It's like the three of them feed off of each other. When J, N and Brandon get together, N always ends up as the "bad guy" in their games. He can't handle it, and whines incessantly that I need to tell J to stop it. I'm tired of that, too. There is something about the three boys together that drives me mad! N is not a bad kid. But still - I didn't invite him over. He comes over 2 to 3 times a week. Sometimes more. Lately I've been putting the house off limits. But then J and N, and Brandon, usually, want to get the trucks out of the garage and go play in the back yard. My backyard. Of course, the toys are left everywhere instead of being put back. And guess who gets to clean them up? Just today I specifically told each boy that he had to pick up whatever toy he took into the back yard. They ignored me. I nicely told each boy he needed to put his toy back or we couldn't play with them for a long time. There were many tears, and I'm not sure why.

One of the hardest things for me is that I feel like I should even have to deal with this. I shouldn't have to put my house off limits. I shouldn't have to talk to J's dad. I shouldn't have to! He should take responsibility for N coming over to his house, and he's not. I'm a good mom. I'm responsible for my own children. I get them ready in the morning, see them in the afternoons, and know how they are feeling. Are they happy? Sad? I know these things. We talk and discuss things. We make play dates and make sure that we have a balance of social time, academic time, and family time. I'm at a loss as to what to do with another parent who isn't as in tune with his kids. I hate confrontation, but need to figure out what to do to resolve this. This has been going on since summer, and I don't see it ending any time soon.

Especially *Not* Cats

It was bright, sunny, and warm in Colorado today. At least in my part of the state. It reached just above 40. The sun here is intense, so the kids and I were just in jeans and long sleeved shirts. No jackets or boots required. Last week's snow is melting away. Today is a teacher development day, so no school for the kids. They got haircuts, we went to Noodles & Company for lunch, and went to the mall to play. It was warm in the car, verging on hot. On the way to the mall, we rolled down the windows. Shocking, I know, but we did it anyway.  I warned the kids, especially Caitlin, not to put anything near the window because it might blow out. That lead to a social responsibility discussion about how we don't throw anything out of the window of a moving car. Not paper, not diapers, not toys. Then Brandon added this:

"And especially not cats!"

Um, yeah. Not cats. Especially not cats.

It's a good suggestion - one that everyone would agree with. But - not cats? Seriously, where on earth did he get that from?


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