Half Over

Wow - the "year" is half over. The school year, I mean. It also means that my last year of MOPS is half over. MOPS stands for "Mothers of Preschoolers". You can be part of a MOPS group from pregnancy/birth of your child through their kindergarten year. Caitlin's in kindergarten, so this spring is my last year. I'm glad. There isn't really another word to describe it. I have a calmness about it ending. I'm not torn. I'm not sad. I'm not even gleeful. I'm just glad.

There was a time in my life when meeting with other moms to discuss the issues of having small children was essential to me, but that time has passed. My children are no longer infants or toddlers. While the majority of my time is still spent with them and caring for them, I have some time to accomplish other things. My children don't "need" me in the same clingy, all-or-nothing, dependent way that children do when they are younger. They clothe themselves, feed themselves, buckle themselves in to their own seats in the car. They read, write, play with other kids. I'm still a very necessary component of their lives, but now I can move about the house unencumbered to take care of important things like making dinner, or paying the bills. I don't have to monitor their every move outside, or at the playground or pool.

Besides dealing with things like pre-set schedules for school and activities, homework, and weekly and daily routines, the emotions of my now older children have come more into focus. Instead of "he stole my toy", I deal with "why didn't my friend invite me to her birthday party?" Or "why won't my friend play with me?" The issues are harder, more intense, and leave a lasting imprint on their hearts. Especially if I deal with them incorrectly. Caitlin was recently devastated to find out that she hadn't been invited to a friend's party. I'm using the term "friend" loosely here, but to Caitlin, most of her "friends" are equal. Of course, there are people she's not inviting to her birthday party, but explaining those friendship differences in terms she can understand is hard. She was sad, hurt, and left wondering why this happened. In my ideal world, life would be fair for my kids, but the reality is different. There isn't really a place to discuss this in the MOPS meeting. I just have to leave it for a different time.

This year is my transition year. I'm still very busy with Caitlin at home. This half day kindergarten thing makes this year seem busy and rushed, and I'm a stay-at-home mom! I don't really know what the next stage involves. Hopefully friends with kids at a similar age (and moms at a similar age!). Community is a wonderful thing. I don't know what the next year holds for me, but I know it'll be different than this year.