Games Brandon like to Play

Able Baker Daddy
On his birthday, Brandon received a book entitled "What Do People Do All Day?" (Thanks, Leanne). What do they do? Do you really want to know? We know, because we are required to read the book every day. It may need to "go away" for a while. Anyway, in one story Able Baker Charlie puts too much yeast in his bread dough, which causes the bread to massively over expand and blow up the oven. As if reading this story daily isn't enough, Brandon has decided to make a little game out of it. It consists of the following steps:

1) Brandon said "Able Baker Daddy, don't put too much yeast in your dough." To which you must reply "Able Baker Brandon, don't put too much yeast in your dough."
2) Then you pretend to put too much yeast in your dough. His dough is his blankey, your dough is, most likely, the quilt on his bed. You (being daddy), put waayyy to much yeast in your dough. Brandon, not so much.
3) After you put too much yeast in your dough you throw it in the oven (which means you throw it over the foot of the bed).
4) Then you must say to Brandon "What happens if I put too much yeast in my dough?"
To which Brandon stands up, reaches up as high as he can with his arms, and says, "Your dough will get TTTHHHISSSSS big"
5) Then, you ask "Is our bread ready yet?"
6) Brandon says, "let me get the timer." He then gets Gugga-Dok (his little toy reindeer), looks at the non-existent timer on Gugga-Dok's butt and says "Not until the hand reaches (insert any number here between 1 and 13)."
7) Sit in silence for 10 to 15 seconds. If you don't let that much time go by or ask again too soon, Brandon will reply (irritatedly), "No, I told you it's not ready yet".
8) You ask a second time, "Is our bread ready yet?"
9) Brandon again picks up Gugga-Dok and says, "Oh, yeah." And then gets the bread out of the
oven.
10) Then (yes, we are on step 10.....)
You take your bread (aka, the quilt), lift it up high and say "OH NO! I PUT TOO MUCH YEAST IN MY DOUGH!!!!!).
11) Then Brandon stands up, and he lays his hands on top of the "Bread" (as if he is healing it), and the bread magically collapses. Brian says he makes a "pssshhhh" sort of sound as the bread collapses on to itself.
12) Then you eat your bread.
Thus ends the "Able Baker Brandon, Able Baker Daddy" game. I had to the narrative from Brian tonight, as I cannot play the game right. Tonight was my first time, I didn't have the right lines memorized, and Brandon cried because I missed a few steps. Tomorrow, Brian will resume his nightly duties of putting Brandon to bed. I cannot handle the aftermath of not playing the games correctly and to Brandon's standards.

The Hat Game
While the previous game is complicated. The next game, another one of Brandon's favorites, is not as difficult. Still, I don't play this game.
1) Brian sits on the couch
2) Brandon brings in his cloth book "Cookie's Color Caper." From this point forward the book is referred to as a hat, not a book. Brian puts it on his head.
3) Brandon begins to jump toward Brian, reaching for the book. Oops, my bad, the "hat." He'll stop if Brian doesn't begin the story narration at that time.
4) The story goes something like this:
"There was a boy named Brandon. He was a hat getter. He use to be good, but today he wasn't so good. He tried to get the hat, but he couldn't get the hat. He tried and tried, but this was a hat he could not get."
(Imagine that all the while Brandon is leaping toward Brian, Brian is fending him off with his arms and tossing his on to the other side of the couch. Brandon is laughing hysterically unless you mess up the story, or call the "hat" a book. Then he'll stop and correct you.)
5) Brian continues with the story, saying pretty much the same stuff over and over again, until Brandon manages to get the hat. At which point the story comes to an abrupt end.

Brian complains a lot about the pain this game causes him. I've suggested he get a cup and stop complaining. Games in which your almost 4 year old child jumps on you are not usually high on the list of fun things to do, unless you're the producers at AFV. They love all these games. Without them they wouldn't have a show.