"House Hunters", Anyone?

In the midst of a very busy, tiring week, I've been watching episodes of "House Hunters". If you've never watched the show, you're really not missing much. But it's a half-hour escape for my brain when it's in an overloaded mindset. The show has made me discover how picky of a viewer I am, and how condescending! I am not at all interested in people who are house hunting in say, Georgia, for a 4,000 square foot house with granite counter tops in the kitchen, all for under $150,000.00. Neither Brian nor I can believe how picky these people are! And the choices they have! It's really amazing! Maybe it's because I grew up in small houses, or because I lived in the Bay Area for so long, but I can really only relate to episodes where people are on a limited budget, or looking to buy in expensive places ("House Hunters International" in Paris, anyone?). Sometimes you just don't get everything you want. There are compromises. Not everyone has a living room and a family room and a formal dining room. Not all families live in 2,000 square foot houses. And seriously, people, are we all conformists that we must have 1 and 1/4 inch thick granite counter tops in our kitchens? I do like granite, don't get me wrong. I've had it before and don't have it now. Still - that wasn't number one on my list of things to look for when I was house hunting just over a year ago.

Things I wonder when watching "House Hunters":

• How did Suzanne Whang get that job? I want that job!

• Every house hunter mentions how great the living room or kitchen would be "for entertaining." Am I the only one who doesn't have a lot of friends? Does the rest of the world get together for dinner parties every weekend? My favorite is when couples are moving to a different country think a room is great for entertaining. You don't even speak the language of your new country! Why are you worried about entertaining? You should be more worried about shipping your stuff overseas! And, really ... you can entertain in any size house if you want to.

• Kitchens - any appliance that isn't what you want is crap. Anything. Electric is bad. Very, very bad. Only stainless steel and granite will do, thank you very much. I'd hate to see them try to buy a house in Silicon Valley on a budget!

• Paint. It's always wrong and needs to go. And whatever you don't like is what you are always looking at. No one can look past it.

• Must. Have. Light. Dark rooms simply will not do. Rooms full of window are the best! Hopefully none of these house hunters suffer from migraines.

• Bathrooms are usually too small. And, in New York, they are. I don't watch the McMansion episodes very often, so I'm pretty condescending when the bathroom shown is bigger than my kitchen. And everyone wants double sinks. They're nice, but not having them is not the end of the world. Besides not entertaining a constant stream of guests, we are also apparently the only couple in the world that doesn't attempt to get ready together in the morning, in the same bathroom, at the same time. Never have. I'll take my hair dryer out of the bathroom and dry my hair in front of my dresser mirror than try to get around Brian while he's shaving. Being raised in a house with one bathroom makes you creative. And my marriage is probably better for it.

• And hardwood floors? Throughout the house? We have 900 square feet of hardwood - the entire downstairs- and wish we had more carpeting! Hardwood is nice in the kitchen and dining areas, and great by the doors (especially with what gets tracked in after playing in the snow or mud), but it makes the living areas feel a little stark. Even with large rugs.

• Not quite sure why the new homeowners tear up perfectly good backyards to cement in a pool. Nope. Don't get it.

• People are picky. Especially the ones who have never lived in an area with expensive real estate. I can't believe what people want for what they want to pay. "My First Place" is better at getting the over-picky wanna-be homeowners. I want to see the real people, with real budgets, who are overjoyed at getting nice hardwood or granite, not the ones that must have it.