Uncool

Brandon had a friend over yesterday afternoon. I was glad to host, since Brandon hasn't made a lot of friends since we've moved here, and the friends he did have are scattered throughout Colorado or elsewhere these days! Plus, his kindergarten is so academically focused that I'm not sure he has a lot of time to make friends. Brian got home late last night, but the kids haven't seen him yet, as he headed off for work early this morning. I needed a distraction, since they were both pretty upset about not seeing daddy yet!

Brandon's friend, Ian, came over after school. After a snack they headed up to see Brandon's computer game. He's got a Jumpstart kindergarten game that he just loves. Ian's mom said that Ian can play all day on the computer, so I limited their game time to about 45 minutes. So far we haven't had to limit Brandon's time on the computer, but I'm sure that will come soon! From my understanding, Ian played the game and Brandon watched. Afterwards they were playing with Brandon's new Legos in the family room. Ian, who is a good 9 months older than Brandon, was building a new car. Brandon was next to him, making this weird, funny noise that I can only attribute to his sheer delight that a friend was over. I can't even describe it, but even I thought it was weird. Ian turned to him and said, in a rather bored, teen-age voice, "What are you doing?" Brandon stopped and just stared at him. "Nothing." Back to playing Lego. Don't look at Ian. In a few minutes he started up with the weird noise again! And again, "What are you doing?"

Poor Brandon! I felt bad for him and almost laughed out loud at the same time. Brandon is uncool. I'm sorry to say it, but he is. And he can blame it all on his genetics. His mom and dad are pretty uncool, too. We have been made painfully aware of this by different people over the course of our lives. At times we have been cool by association, but never really cool on our own. Sometimes our lack of coolness has been palpable - leaving us feeling very alone and excluded by the very same group we were supposedly part of. How much we've worked in one group had a lot to do with our total acceptance and hip-ness. I keep hoping my kids won't have to go through that, but how else will they learn to cope? In Brandon's defense, he is one of the younger kids, if not the youngest kid, in his class. Some kids are over a year older than him. School grade cut-off in Colorado is September 15th or 30th. Boulder Valley schools are September 30th, so Brandon barely got in. I've noticed an odd trend in Colorado, and possibly elsewhere, of parents holding kids back in school for dominance (physical or mental) instead of for social or education lagging. I don't think there is anything wrong in holding a child back in school, but I also think it should only be done if the child is lagging socially or educationally. Most kids are going to be older than Brandon anyway, due to where his birthday falls. I thought that those age differences were going to be less pronounced in kindergarten, but I'm still noticing them. Brandon's younger age makes him seem, well, younger. And in many cases, like today, the way he acts in situations makes him seem uncool.

In all reality, I'm not worried about this. I've been uncool for a while, and I've still managed to get this far. Brian's pretty uncool, and he has a good job that supports all of us. We've made friends over the years, and some of them still want to hang out with us! My main concern is that Brandon can make some friends this year who are on his level. He made several last year. Two moved, and our schedule change this year so we've only seen one of his friends, and only a couple times a month at that. Taking the time to get together is hard due to schedules or distance, and I haven't felt like anyone even wants to try. So we will continue to slog through, asking God to direct us, staying close as a family, and looking for friends - cool or uncool - along the way.