What I *Should* Be Learning

Today Brandon told me that he isn't learning anything in school. He was in a sad mood, having been scolded by me for leaving his things in the middle of the stairs. And it's in those sad little moods he talks the most. He proceeded to tell me that he hasn't been learning anything at school because he doesn't learn Bible stories in school. He learns them at MOPS, during my Bible study on Wednesdays, and at church, but not at school. Forget the reading he's doing, all the books he writes at school, the simple addition and subtraction. No, for Brandon it's all about Bible stories. We have read through 3 children's Bibles in the last year. Even I'm learning things. For example, I had no idea that there was a character named Barak in the Bible until we read stories about Deborah from the book of Judges. I talked to him about all the great things about school (now it not the time to talk about all the not-so-great stuff about school!). He was okay with it. Still, I was a little surprised that Brandon's idea of learning is learning the Bible. Solely. Exclusively. And he's sad that isn't taking place daily.

I struggle with all the things I should be doing. I should be teaching him Bible stories every day. I should be exercising, eating only the right things, be fashionable and cute at a moment's notice (especially at my age!), and be wonderful, educational and always thoughful with my kids. I should feed them properly - home cooking with no artificial additives or dyes. I should keep high fructose corn syrup out of my house. I should recycle, use only eco-friendly stuff. I should volunteer within an inch of my life with children at school and church. Within all that, I should be all things to all people at the drop of a hat! And while I don't disagree with any of this stuff, I think I have forgotten my focus. I need to focus on God. I need to teach my kids about God. I need to take care of myself and my kids (food -wise and otherwise) and not worry so much about the rest. Each group that I'm a part of is important, but not that important. The work I do there is a fraction of my bigger job. I believe we are made for community, but sometimes that community is hard to come by, and I am personally tired of trying to find it here. It's that kinds of thinking that perpetuated a cycle of hard work and burnout in my past that brought me to some introverted, bitter places in the last few years. And, my children really do need to know God's truth. There are a lot of personal truths out there, but I want them to learn the absolute, unchanging truths. The ones that aren't simple true for one person, but not another. God loves his people. There is only one way to God - through Christ. That anyone who loves God and accepts him as saviour is saved. Anyone.

I struggle with thoughts of putting my kids in good Christian schools. I think the education is highly valuable, but the cost might just put us in the poorhouse. Christ said, in not so many words, to be in the world, but not of it. But regardless, we are in this world until we die, and we need to understand how it works in order to survive. I'm afraid that if I raise my children in little bubble that they will lose that ability, or have it severely hampered. I am tired of how the conservative Christian world operates. Christ was in the the world - not in a bubble - and his influence is still seen around the world! And yet I'm still confused. I really hope that Brandon continues in his love for all things Biblical, but realized all he learns outside of the church as well.