Sunday, March 15, 2009

Brandon the Sensitive

It's been an interesting past few weeks. Something's off, and I don't know what it is. How it manifests itself, however, is in Brandon crying. A lot. More than I think I can handle. He is set off by just about everything, too. Caitlin. Me. Having to read a book (and the boy loves to read). Having to get dressed. For example, if we are joking together, he may decide a few minutes into it that he no longer wants to participate. Instead of telling me that, he just starts crying. Sometimes it's sobbing, and sometimes it's crying and screaming as if he fell off his scooter directly on to cement. I just can't tell anymore. This happens multiple times a day, anywhere, for any reason, and is not easily stopped. It's like trying to cork a volcano.

Can you tell that I'm frustrated?

I've searched our lives over and over again, and I haven't come to any conclusions. On an average day he gets up around 8:30 and goes to bed around 8:30. He's in school for about 3 hours, and gets to play outside after school with friends for half an hour or so if it's not freezing, snowing, or windy. He gets social time at church anywhere from 2-3 days a week for a couple of hours, and time with friends on Sunday evenings during our life group. He eats pretty good. I've switched the kids to whole grain breads and sugar-free organic peanut butter for breakfast, so they're getting proteins. Lunch is tricky - it's sandwiches in the car on the way to school when we have mornings away from home. On home days Brandon doesn't usually get lunch, per say, so I give him more wholesome, filling snacks - grains, fruits, yogurts, nuts. He *loves* plain yogurt with honey, stevia, and flax seed/blueberry granola. I go out of my way to get him whole milk yogurts and granola products that are good for him. The one area I'd like him to just grow out of is his pasta obsession. The boy could eat carbs all day with almost no proteins. He's practically a vegetarian, but I make him eat chicken since he doesn't eat enough vegetable proteins. The kids love edamame, so at least there's some protein there.

I'm at a loss. When I'm hard on him he cries - hard. That said, I can't always be the soft mom - the one who gives in. We mothers have it hard in this area. We are trying to raise our children the best we can. We are constantly seeking solutions that work not just for the short-term, but for the long-term as well. If I don't keep my word, he knows I'm a pushover. If I do what I said I would do, the flood of tears and emotions starts again. It's nerve wracking for me, and puts me in this constant heightened state, trying to stay one step ahead of him so that he doesn't have a complete breakdown at the store, on the playground, or as we're about to leave for school. I'm exhausted and done around 6:00, and our evening is just ramping up around that time! I don't know if Brandon's trying to wear me down, or he's just a sensitive, emotional guy. Time and again he's proven himself to be on the more sensitive side, but this time it's getting to me. Parenting under this constant state of stress is not working.

I've taken a few informal polls about other kid's bedtimes. We seem to all do it around the same time. I'm paying attention to him. He's eating well. What am I forgetting?

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