Great Moments in Parenting

Got a note today in Brandon's cubby. It told me that during recess a girl took Brandon's ball away from him. What would he usually do? Cry. Get upset. Grab it back. What did he do this time?

Socked her in the face.

Great. Not only do I have an emotional child, but now I have a violent one as well! According to Brandon's teacher, who was completely shocked, the girl took his ball and he just punched her in the face to get it back. Didn't ask for it back. Didn't cry. Just hit.

There was a part of me was horrified to hear this. You never want to be the parent of the school bully. And hitting is rarely an acceptable option, especially at this age. Then there was this little part of me that said "you go, Brandon". Brandon rarely defends himself when something happens, so there is a part of me that is happy to hear that he stood up for himself. I don't want him to be a wimp! In the same way that no one wants to be the parents of the school bully, no one really wants to be the parent of the school wimp, either. Still, there are other options. I also felt a little better knowing that he was provoked and lashed out, instead of being the instigator.

Brandon's teachers were so shocked that he did this that they didn't even give him a time out. They did talk to him at length about how our hands are not suppose to be used, and what his options were. I know it got to him, because when I picked him up he said "Mommy!" from across the room, and ran and gave my legs a hug. He wasn't unhappy, but he doesn't usually greet me like that unless something personal has happened.

We talked about this on the way home. When I asked him what he should say if someone takes his ball again, he said "Thank you?" I laughed, said "no", and asked again what he should say. His response? "Sorry?" Why is the response "Please give me my ball back" so hard to figure out when you're 4? Hopefully he'll get it next time.

In his defense, it has been a hard week. Brian has been gone since last Thursday. I have been sick the entire time, am tired, cranky, and want little else than sleep. Caitlin had a second birthday, and there were only the 3 of us to celebrate it with her (although we had lots of great gift sent to us by loving relatives). Brandon even told me he was sad that Caitlin didn't have a party. Our whole routine has been way off course all week. Brandon's teacher said that his reaction made so much more sense after I told her about our week's circumstances. Brian travels regularly, though, and I, she of the crappy immune system, catch just about every cold that comes my way. Let's hope these patterns aren't leading us down a path of destruction!