The Saga Continues....

I don't really feel like blogging. I'd like to veg out on the couch and watch TV. That's not possible when you're the only one home, and kids must go to bed. Watching "Guess That Shape and Color" (a Sesame Street Production) with Brandon is just not all that invigorating. He already knows his shapes and colors. This is Caitlin's video, but nothing in the world can interest her in a video. I never thought I'd say this, but I would really like it if my daughter would be entertained by TV every now and then. Right now I'd really like to go to sleep, but that won't happen, either. I've been having a terrible time sleeping for the last few months. I keep hoping there's an end in sight, but I'm not seeing it. I'm currently looking forward to another night of tossing and turning and waking up at 5:30 am (which is a terrible time anyway, but worse when you're a stay-at-home mom with nothing to do).

Brandon has been having a hard time with all the move stuff. I don't think it's necessarily the move to a new place, but more the fact that he can't see his friends. He asks about Emily, our neighbor, and his friend Max, who we visited with almost every week from the time Brandon was 9 months old. Brandon keeps asking when we can go back to California. Brian was in New York earlier this week, and Brandon (the boy who never forgets) mentioned that he could stop by and visit Edison, our neighbor in S-Town who moved to New York in February. The boy is craving some kid interaction here! And not just any kid, because we are trying new parks all the time, but the same kids. Something familiar. Something to cling to. Someone who wants to run and play, and who doesn't have to leave his side to go push his little sister on the swing. I know it's to be expected, but I'm having a hard time with the daily meltdowns. Especially in the afternoons. Everything I say or do has some sort of double meaning to Brandon, and it's bad. This is why we were outside around 4:30 in our old neighborhood. We go to check the mail now, and have recently been seeing signs of life in our HOA. I've only seen a few little kids, but it's a start! For the first couple of weeks I only saw people walking their dogs. Nothing wrong with that, but it doesn't bode well for getting together for play dates in the future. We were spoiled, I know, having so many kids in our old neighborhood. But it was nice, and I'd like that again in the future.

I have come to the conclusion that being perpetually tired is going to be my state for the near future. My mind is tired of the constant storage challenges that this rental house presents. It still boggles the mind on how we could move from a 1300 square foot, 3 bedroom duplex to a 1400 square foot, 3 bedroom, split level house, and not be able to fit our stuff! Yes, we have a lot of stuff, but no more than most of our friends, and we weren't bursting at the seams in our old place. On the outside this place looks fine, but there is no storage here! The owners must have had the same issue, as the garage has the nicest wall-0-storage wardrobes that I have ever seen (it looks like something from one of those decluttering shows on HGTV). I know, I keep complaining about this, but it is thrust into my line of vision every time I unpack yet another box. The fine line of what to unpack, and what to put away during out (hopefully) 6-month stay here is also a challenge. I'm relabeling any box that goes in the garage just in case I need the blender, or the flannel sheets. Also, the fact that I have to map where I'm going whenever I need to go to a store has to do with the whole mental tiredness thing. Everything is new. Nothing is known. Grocery shopping takes forever, since the stores are huge and I don't know the layouts. Last week I went to King Soopers. Isn't that an odd name for a store? It's about 150% of the size of a new and improved Safeways. And the supercenters - Target and Wal-Mart.... great for one stop shopping, but I wander around in them for hours, getting delirious, like a lost soul in the desert looking for water. Tomorrow I'm making the trek out to Costco again (wish me luck). I know there's a Toys-R-Us nearby, and I'm hoping to get to that, too. The really sad thing is that if it wasn't for our GPS, I might never make it home. Just as I wander aimlessly around in stores, I drive around in circles looking for a familiar road or freeway. I'm good to go from some places, but most places are still a mystery to me.

So there is our current life. Caitlin is doing well. She said "hi mama" to me when I got her out of her crib this morning. She says "here you go", "thank you" and "uh-oh" all the time. She is starting to say "Brandon", and said something else this morning that was cute, but has completely escaped my brain right now. She laughs out loud (and very loudly) when she sees any animal. Always fun in the mall pet-store (bet ya haven't seen one of those in a while!). It's like she's having some sort of breakdown, but she's happy. It's pretty funny. Brandon is into all his puzzles, especially his tangram-type puzzles. He wants to read, and points out all the letters he sees while trying to string the sounds together. I've enrolled him in a preschool early learners class at the local rec center that starts next week, 9:00-11:00 on Tuesdays and Thursdays. The people there have no idea how grateful I was that he got in (from the waiting list). I think he'll enjoy the class, and the routine it provides. If nothing else it will be a barometer of how he'll take preschool in the fall. I'm looking forward to him going and being with other kids, and I'm looking forward to my alone time with Caitlin. She's a completely different child without Brandon around. She loves the one-on-one, and is a happy, content girl with just me. All I say to her lately is "no" (as in "no, don't eat the cleanser", and "no, stay out of the trash"). It will be nice to just play, and not say no, starting next week!