So Much Stuff

I have stuff. Lots of stuff. My house is full of stuff. To be fair, it's not all my stuff. It just feels like it because I'm packing it all into boxes. It makes me wonder why humans feel this need to cart stuff around? Do we use it all? Do we really need it? We buy bookcases and trunks, shelves and boxes to store our stuff in. We put it in the closet, on the shelf and in the garage. In many cases, we rent storage lockers just to store extra stuff that we aren't using. Maybe all the personal items in storage are useful, and I'm wrong about this. But if you haven't used in a while, and you haven't missed it, do you really need it? Are we able to distinguish between what we want and what we need?

As I pack all my stuff, I'm trying to decide between the want, the need, and the why-do-I-own-it? I'm too tired to have boxes labeled "Keep, Toss, Donate," or "Past, Present, Future". I don't want to be on TV, which eliminates any hope of getting help from "Clean Sweep" or "Neat". And, from what I've seen on the shows, I wouldn't qualify. You don't have to clear a path in my living room. You can sit at my dining room table (well, not now), and don't have to clear the bed before going to sleep (usually). I'm always looking at my stuff to see what I can donate or give to someone else. My mom says this trait started early - when I was around 4 years old. Sometimes I catch myself trying to find things to donate for no good reason. The desire to sort, organize and purge is strong. There's no shortage of stuff, either, because I can't seem to stay out of the stores. I am still looking for that perfect shade of lipstick that is going to transform my life and make me always beautiful. This has been going on for the past 18 years, and that magic lipstick still hasn't materialized. Why am I spending money on stuff I'm not going to keep? I should start asking myself how many hours do I (or Brian) have to work to pay for the latest basket, electronic gadget, or other knick-knack? Two, three, ten? Is a new, high tech phone really any better than the one we have now that still works just fine? Am I willing to sacrifice an entire day for a new "whatever"?. Back to my point, though.... I'm trying to purge, but I don't seem to have the mental capacity for it right now. It's easy to purge my kids old toys and clothes, but no my own. I'm so tired, physically and mental, that the art of purging is alluding me. I realize I'm weird, and that very few people are like me, but I can't help it!

I wonder.....
-Do I buy things out of boredom? Out of need? Out of desire?
-Do I hope that the things I buy will transform my life?
-Am I hoping for acceptance from my peers because I have the right sofa, decor, shoes, or pants?
-Is anyone going to care about my pots and pans unless they're using them?
-Do I have "Catalogue-Induced Anxiety?" Should I toss the Pottery Barn catalogues? Does seeing a seemingly endless selection of shiny stuff make me want to buy more?
-Is it really new and improved? Or just new and marginally improved?
-Do I need so many choices out in the consumer world? I've noticed when visiting countries in Europe that there is considerably less to select from. I like that (I know, I'm odd).

In a way, too much stuff ties you down. You save things, hoping that you'll use it again. You save memories. You save all things that you received from others - some carefully and thoughtfully given, but a lot is not. Is the stuff in our house the same as our emotional baggage? My friend Paul once told me "Everyone has baggage. The difference is, are you caring a duffel bag at your side, or backing the U-Haul truck in the driveway?" I feel lighter when I can get rid of something. Especially when I can give it to someone who will use it (example - clothes that the kids have outgrown). But then the question arises - do I get rid of stuff just to make me feel better?

I really hope I can purge more this weekend. And, I hope that if I live in a bigger house someday that I don't mindlessly fill it with stuff. What is important in my house are the people who live -there and those who visit. What is important is what we believe and who we worship. I believe in God. I hope that I am not worshiping money, or the desire to get a "great deal". My grandmother is not found in the hand-embroidered handkerchiefs that she saved and gave to me when I was a teenager. I'm keeping them anyway. However, in the event of a fire or other calamity, I hope I can remember that it all just stuff.